Well, this has been an interesting week.
I
went on a trade-off with an elder, and we got into a deep conversation
about missions and the changes that occur. He was really going through
quite the identity crisis. He was concerned that we wasn't changing
enough, yet he thought he had changed too much, yet he was afraid he
wasn't making the necessary strides to improve. He had it bad. I was
half-expecting him to spontaneously get a mohawk and motorcycle. (Stupid
joke)
This
made me reflect on my last 22 months and the path I took. I then came
to the semi-arrogant and very self-assured conclusion that I love
myself. I know that may sound bad, but hear me out. I was stressed and
stressed (ask my trainer) about changing too much or not at all. I was
so freaked out that I would become a drone and I'd get home and be rude
and judgmental and everybody would hate me. I really had developed quite
a complex.
But,
over the course of these last 22, I just sort of changed but didn't.
It's impossible to describe, you just have to experience. I have a new
take on life, a fresh view about God, myself, and the world, but at the
same time, I'm just a little kid still. I'm a completely different
person, but I've never been more myself. Throughout high school and into
college I was masking myself with some persona that overtook me. Now,
I'm just me. No pretenses and I can just be me.
I
assured this young elder that when he was 22 months out, he'd be
completely satisfied with who he had become. If you do it right, these
two years can benefit your life. You just have to let the change come to
you, and you have to be you. It's that simple. Life goes the same way.
There's a difference between improving and changing. We should all
strive to better ourselves, but we should also never leave ourselves
behind.
I
turned 21 years old. It was sweet. We had a couple dinners with some
awesome people. Ludington has some of my favorite people ever invented.
One of the best birthdays I have had. It's not where you are, it's who
you're with I suppose.
I
met Elder Christofferson yesterday. His talks have changed my life,
particularly "Brethen, We have Work to Do" and "Let Us Be Men." I wanted
to say thanks but he shook my hand and all I could do was smile. He
spoke to us in Grand Rapids. He had a light shining that I seldom see in
people. He is definitely called of God.
That is all,
Damon Chlarson
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