This is an essay I wrote last night when I could not sleep, entitled "By Faith Rather Than by Sight." Enjoy. It may be a bit long.
Earthly probations require us to be separated from our Father. We are natives of a noble, exalted sphere where we experienced the warmth of God's presence filling out spirits. Consequently, man is innately spiritual. However, in our mortal state we are carnal and put off the spiritual man inside. We desire tangible proof instead of faith. But, that is not to be so.
I met a man who lost his belief in God due to doubts and, as I have perceived, prayers unanswered and signals and signs not receieved or recognized. He brought our entire conversation back to philosophical ideas which, when simplified, made me look foolish and childish in my faith, as if I was grasping at straws in vain. It eventually boiled down to him, in less words, saying "Well, if it makes you feel good..."
This troubled me all day. You cannot convey gospel blessings, messages, and truth without using the terminology "I feel" or "intuitively, I know." These communications which, as they say, apply to our pathos only are meaningless to those who have hardened their hearts toward God, yet softened them to just about anything else. He said this, which struck me, "I would pray and say, 'Let me hear your voice, or let me hear silence.' And I would hear silence. 'Let me feel your warm, or let me feel nothing.' And I felt nothing."
At this point, I dropped my arguments and realized that this man was being sincere. Now, he's a great man, very respectful, high moral code, and an upstanding person whom I respect; however, that is the most absurd reason to lose faith. It is a philosophy and game-plan which is assuredly from the devil. We cannot build faith on our own terms, and as one schooled in religion he should have known God does not work that way, and never has, and never said he would.
We are on earth, walking by faith rather than by sight. We cannot see God, or least most of us are not privileged and I personally would be so shocked and fearful if I did, and would want the mountains to cover me in my flawed state. However, we can see him reaching out to us, one by one, individually, and in small and simple things. Perhaps a quote from a general authority or a small child hits you, or a scripture opens up in a new way, or maybe it's a small moment to yourself at the end of the day and you feel the love of God. Nonetheless, you can feel God reaching out to you.
Asking him to work contrary to His nature is absurd. Saying, while in Northern Michigan in January, "Let me feel the hot Mojave sun and I will believe" does not work, God never said it would work. God draws near to us as we draw near to him. He lets his goodness and mercy bring us to the depths of humility to cause us to repent. "Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold, I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise. And the Lord doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls" (Alma 37:6-7).
When we seek our conversion by little things, the Lord helps us grow in grace and our conversion runs deep into the root of our souls. The Jews wanted signs, wonders, mysteries, and the Lord "granteth unto men according to their desires" and what happened? "Wherefore, because of their blindness, which blindness came by looking beyond the mark, they must needs fall; for God hath taken away his plainness from them, and delivered unto them many things which they cannot understand, because they desired it. And because they desired it God hath done it, that they may stumble" (Jacob 4:14). Not to mention they did forget the miracles, as did many people in the time of the Savior. Those who were not fit for the kingdome of God because they put their hand to the plough and looked back (Luke 9:52).
Don't look beyond the mark. Don't seek great miracles or instantaneous conversion. God gives men line up line; so start at the bottom. Bridge the gaps in your testimony with faith and lean on the Lord. Be a fool. "Let no man deceieve himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness. And again the Lord knoweth the thoughts of the wise, that they are vain" (1 Cor. 3:18-20). What a concept. Our uninspired, feeble attempts to figure out God's wonders are in vain. But, when we search the revealed word and do not lean on our own understanding, we see the bigger picture. "But to be learned is good if they hearken unto the counsels of God" (2 Nephi 9:29).
I hope that man finds his way and we all do too. Those are my probably obvious thoughts on the matter. Same concept as Holland's latest talk I suppse.
