Letter #35 - December 26th, 2012

Alright, well another week ish has gone by and I'm writing another blog.

I'm getting transferred to Alpena, MI. It's right on Lake Huron and way up northeast in MI. It will be mighty, mighty cold. I'm pretty nervous, to be honest. But, it will be, I think, the biggest opportunity for growth for me now as I ascend northward.

I've had so much fun in Grand Valley and this area. I have so little to complain about, truly. Life has been great here. I have had good companions, a great ward, and pretty sweet people to be around all together. I just think about my time here and I can't help but smile, so I'm very much grateful for the opportunity.

Anyway, I have been asking myself recently what my best moments of 2012 have been; what moments have just been so great. To be honest, I couldn't think of anything in particular. I sat there and thought about the spectacular things, baptisms, cool teaching visits, funny moments with companions, arguments with people, and being yelled at. Nothing was really popping out to me.

The only thing that stuck out to me were the people I have met. Maybe I should have figured that out like... 20 years back, but I didn't. All I could think about were the great times with people and all the things that have happened. I just realized the only thing that matters are the people you meet, help, and have the chance to love. I thought about my multiple companions of 2012, and I just sort of smiled. I have had some characters! In a good way. I've met a couple of my best friends as companions. I have been in some really great experiences with them, and some really bad ones too. I think about the fantastic people in Michigan I have met. Some people I have met have become so close I consider them family. It kills to be separated from them. (Being a missionary is this CRAZY paradox where you have to be so close to people spiritually, yet separate yourself emotionally and not become attached. It's very difficult)

So, as I begin to think of 2013, I am trying to figure out what I want my New Year's resolution to be. I make a new resolution weekly usually, but maybe I need to make a bigger one for the whole year of 2013. I think I just need to enjoy the people more. So, that's my goal I guess, to enjoy people? Is that necessary goal? I mean, it's not one that can be quantified by any means, but I guess I'll just be able to "know", I guess. I'm only going to be spending about 8 months of 2013 as a missionary. Then all the distractions are goingo re-enter my life. It's been an amazing 16 months. I guess I'm living a pretty good life.

I'm not really a huge fan of the cold, and the snow is cool before Christmas, and I have both waiting for me up there in Alpena. But, I'm going to make a good time with it. I have a lot of things to be worried about, but much like Heber C. Kimball, "Once I knew the mind and will of my Heavenly Father, all of these reasons didn't matter." (Somewhat paraphrasing)

Here goes nothing...

Letter #34 - December 17, 2012

So, this week will be a pretty good week. The snow is supposed to be falling. The grace of God has given me a pretty easy winter thus far. I'm not complaining.

 

I get to go on trade-offs with former-companion. I'm really excited. It'll be our last sleepover until we're roomies back at college. Should be a pretty fun time, as it always is. Are we the only ones that call exchanges sleepovers? Only this time, I don't have to ask my Mom if I can or not.

 

I'm finished with a project I've been working on. I've been summarizing every chapter of the New Testament (using "Jesus the Christ" and a couple other study sources) and I am basically done. I have to finish up a couple things on the Book of Revelation (I understand about 5% of that book) and then I'll be done. It's taken me over three months and about 100 pages of notebook paper. Now that I've picked it apart, I can just get back to reading it and taking a few notes here and there. This is what I did to the Book of Mormon the first time. I have to do it to the Doctrine and Covenants here pretty quickly.

 

Yesterday during church, I was thinking about why missions are so great. I was thinking about how mine has affected me and the decisions I will be making in the near future and the far future. I realized something... This is probably the only time in my life I'll be able to relate to Peter or Paul. This is the only time I can empathize with Alma the Younger when he wishes he were a better missionary, which he records in Alma 29. After this, I will be an average guy, sharing the gospel as I can, but I won't be "suiting up" on a daily basis. Instead, of "pressing forward with a perfect  brightness of hope" in terms of the people I teach, I'll be pushing on in school.

 

Anybody who's on the fence about going and may read this. You should go. Simple as that. There will be a lot of reasons not to go, but there will be a few VERY important reasons to go.

 

That's my wisdom.

 

Damon Chlarson

Letter #33 - December 10th, 2012

The Rapid Wreck, rebuttal to Anti-Literature, and Christmas

Well this week was a fairly exciting week. We had a Christmas party for the mission, and trade-offs with my boy Elder Masters. We stayed up till 3 and woke up at 6. It murdered me. But, after years of hanging out at Steven Devine's house till the wee hours of the morning, I'm pretty much used to zero sleep.

Anyways, on Friday the bus we were on got in a wreck... Here goes the story and dream, of a lifetime.

So, it all started about Friday, December 7, 2012 at roughly 2:40 pm. We were running late to an appointment, like we always do because I'm a terrible planner. So the bus system in Grand Rapids is called "the Rapid" which is ironic because it's anything but, but it's always a good time. Bus stories are always crazy, but this one trumps all.

The bus was packed, except for a few open seats but I didn't really want to share a seat with any of my potential seat companions, so I stood up at the front and started zoning out, pondering out the front window. We live by Alpine Avenue, which is the craziest street in GR, because it's got 1000000 businesses and tons of traffic, it's 45 MPH and people just don't care.

So, we're speeding along and this little Honda Civic just cuts over in front of us (the driver on her cell phone) and slams on the breaks, trying to turn into a Jiffy Lube type place (ironically located right next to "Alpine Collision Care"). Our bus driver slams on it to avoid demolishing this little car, but hits her back bumper. The first row of seats faces forward without anything in front of them, and no seat belt. So, as she slams on it, something whispers in my ear telling me to get ready to catch something. I move into the aisle and stick my leg/arm out and as I do so, this big ol' guy just barrels through the air, being pulled forward due to the momentum, and as he hits me, I also get pulled forward. He hits his head pretty hard, but I held on to the bar and just fell off my feet slightly.

Nobody was hurt but everybody was riled up. I had a good time and vouched for the bus driver. The man who fell may have had a concussion but nobody listens to me... I would never take my medical advice from anyone on the Rapid. The guy was acting a little special, but I think he may have been so before the wreck.

ALSO

I have been informed by multiple sources that my previous blog post (posted with 100% pure intentions hoping to perhaps brighten somebody's day) was not completely well received and I apologize. It was not my intention to stir up any contention. One of my favorite Book of Mormon teachings is that contention is of the devil, and love is from Christ. So those who stir up evil, spread hate, or wish to demean others are well... just that. Remember the six things, yea seven that the Lord hates? (That's in Proverbs 6:16-19, a book which we apparently don't read...)

Continuing on, I must say that I serve in Grand Rapids, MI. Everybody hates us here, and I've received more hostility on the subject of the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith, the premortal existence, etc. than I ever thought possible. It almost reminds me of the way the Pharisees, afraid of the abandonment of their loyalties of the soon-to-be-fulfilled Law of Moses, rejected the new teachings of a better way.

I would love to discuss the knowledge I have received after two years devoted to study, teaching, and persecution in about eight months. I must assure all that I have read the Bible, I have read the Book of Mormon and the two are in harmony with one another. I must say I have had much of my faith strengthened in Christ, and in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, from the Bible. On a personal note, I must say John is my favorite, the light he sheds on the life of Christ is seemingly unparalleled than that found in the other gospels. I do however, wish I could read more of what Peter wrote, but thanks to Constantine (the man who defaced Christianity and basically decided what people were to believe) we lost the Gospel of Peter, the presiding member of the church after Christ ascended to our Father. Read the book "Constantine's Bible" if you desire to know more of the idea.

I also must say I've never seen anything in the Bible that says revelation has ceased, or that there is to be no additional scriptures (Please do not quote Revelation 22-18 out of context). Also, what about the time Jacob saw God and became known as Israel? That's in Genesis, or the first book of the well-renowned Bible, (which I must emphasize I have accusedly never read).

Anybody who is to say that we follow Joseph Smith, and that makes us a cult or that we minimize Christ, must also remember that their religion too, was based on the writings of another mortal man, not only Christ. I tell you that John Calvin shaped many of the protestant beliefs (the idea of predestined grace and hope alone in the shedding of blood, though we learn that "faith without works is dead, being alone" in the epistle of James 2:17), and the teachings of John Wesley have been manipulated (as he clearly states in a journal that the Holy Ghost appears to be off the earth on account of the spiritual gifts, or "signs of the believers" having disappeared, found in "the Great Apostasy" by James E. Talmage) and that Martin Luther never intended to have a religion based on him, and that he reviles infant baptism.

However, I must say I just want us all to get along. Arguing, debating, and pontificating has never brought any sort of spiritual benefit. Theologians decided to do that. (Reminds me of the 27th verse of the first chapter of Romans "Professing themselves to be wise, they become fools" or in 2 Timothy 3:7 those whom are" ever learning but never being able to come to the knowledge of the truth") Pray to find truth, guidance, consolation. Look to Christ for salvation. Practice what you preach, and believe in what you feel the Holy Ghost is saying.

In saying this, I must apologize for some of my own conduct in the past as I am not always the most Christlike person. I hope this ends any debates.

"I know the scriptures and I understand them."

Damon Chlarson

Letter #32 - December 3rd, 2012

Okay, here I am at 10:44 am in Grand Rapids, MI.

 

Things are going pretty good I must say. I've got a couple good stories and thoughts to share, so I'm writing this.

 

I'll start with my thoughts that are semi-serious:

 

I have been thinking a lot about righteousness, the will of God, the commandments, how to stay true to covenants, and how to strive forward on to eternal life: our entire purpose.  There are no grey areas when it comes to the commandments. I think when we speak about grey areas, we think about things that will not be asked to us in a temple recommend interview. I think we believe that we can somehow escape God's will by hiding behind the bare minimum. I must admit I have been terribly guilty of this throughout my life, and I still work on it daily. Is there really a grey area? When it comes down to it, would you do it if President Monson was in the room, let alone Christ?

 

Now, no one need suppose me guilty of modern-day Pharisaical customs and traditions, but I think there are decisions that must be made with a "what is going draw me nearer to the Savior?" sort of attitude. Also, no one needs to think I have found myself on the path to perfection further than I truly am. My flaws become ever more noticable as I read, ponder, and pray. As Joseph Smith said, "I have a subtle demon in me, and I can only curb him by being humble." I am a long way off of that.

 

Another thought is about Christmas. Have you ever noticed that you hear people often say "I love Christmas but the commercialism of it just tires me out"? People constantly complain about the commericalism year after year. Yet, we seem to support it. I guess that's the hypocrite in me as well, I think to myself "Man, what can I do to really make this Christmas about Christ and serving others?" Then later on, I find myself thinking "Man, I wish I could watch 'Elf' with my family and just sleep in." That thought (though not really wrong and I absolutely cannot wait until next Christmas when I can, in the words of the Killers, "Roll around like a kid in the snow...")needs to be replaced with thoughts of making others happy.

 

Last night at the Christmas devotional, I loved the words of all three members of the First Presidency. President Uchtdorf is always great and really reminds us that we must be happy, positive, joyful, and really live in the moment. He said, in a nutshell, "Experience Christmas as a child, full of wonder, excitement and joy, and love those around us." I love the idea of being child-like, not childish. Maybe it's because there really isn't anything more joyful than just playing. My idea of unwinding is playing with the little ones. I think about playing with my many nieces and nephews, and it makes me feel calm.

 

President Monson BLEW my mind when he spoke of the Christmas season and said (I'm paraphrasing), "Don't get so caught up in the pressure of the season that you lose the Spirit of the season." That hit me in the face and is super applicable to my mission at this time.

 

Anyways, I turned 15 months recently. Mid-August and I'll be back where I began, but not all at once. I'm running out of time it seems, and it goes way too fast, some days. In the words of the great punk band the Wonder Years, "I know I've got miles to go but, I'm putting my shoulder to the wheel."

 

So, on the bus this week (of course) I had a fella sit across from me (he was about 55-60, with his hair permed straight and he was acting hood, saying "ohhh we on the west side baby. We go hard out here") in the isle and yell to his friend, "Yo homie, I gotta spot fo' ya right hurr." The spot he was referring to was the empty one on my left. The man sat down. I was overwhelmed with the smell of marijauana and Jack Daniels. But they start chatting, and they get on the topic of a woman in they know is jail... He says, "Ahh man, I heard she cut somebody... I heard she was defending you. Didn't she hit somebody wit a brick?" I pulled the cord and got off the bus, because I was laughing too hard.

 

Then, we were on the bus and there was this mom who had a son that was being rowdy. She said, "Boy, you better shape up. You gon' make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here!" For those of you not familiar with the black culture, that's a referrence to a DMX song.

 

When the bus was stops, it sort of rocks almost, as it uses its hyrdaulics. This old dude goes, "Errybody on the bus gettin' tipsy!" Also, another reference to a rap song.

 

THEN, we were in the bathroom at central station downtown in Grand Rapids (brace yourself, this is about to get graphic), we saw a guy using the urinal and he just dropped his drawers. I couldn't hold it together and I left laughing hysterically.

 

Anyways, that's it, I think.

 

Things are good. Sorry this is long. Nobody is still reading, but I wanted to write something.

Be still.

Letter #31 - October 29, 2012

Well, it hasn't been too long but I'm trying to think of something cool that's happened. Well a couple things have happened that are slightly noteworthy, I guess. The Tigers got swept by the Giants, I'm pretty sure I heard the state cry. Other than that though... We had some interesting experiences door knocking this week. A brotha (note: "brotha" not "brother" even though his name would give that away) named Rodell Bell gave me something to talk about...

So we were knocking in a not-so-good part of town in downtown Grand Rapids. We walked up to the house and I heard some rustling around the side of the house so I just said, "Hey uhhh, we're missionaries and we would like to share a message about Jesus Christ" and I was cut off by Rodell and he said, "hey, ya'll got three dollas I can borrow to go buy some bologna?" And, I'm not one to turn down a man his bologna. So I said, "Uhhh sure..." And the other black dude, who was apparently doing some sort of caulking to the house, said, "ehh yo, these dudes come 'round talkin' bout Jesus and you gon' ask 'em fo cash?" And Rodell just FLIPPED and got so ticked because apparently he was getting "all up in his bidness" and taking stuff off his porch. Apparently he works for the landlord... I don't know. Eventually Rodell, in a moment of rage, yells out. "I ALREADY GOT THE BREAD AND THE CHEESE!" And I freaking lose it. I just start laughing so hard. Anyways, so I give him the money and we're in his house now. He invited us in and a lightbulb went off in my head, "This'll be fun!" So, right before we leave he says, "Okay, ya'll go tell ya pastor watch just happened... Talk about it. Because what just happened is gon' stick with ya'll... because what just happened... that was weird." I said, "Oh yes, it WAS weird..." He was fun. I miss him. I'm pretty sure Rodell is in. He's not exactly accountable if you get my drift...

Grand Rapids is still fun. I love the ward here, still some of my favorites whom I have met on my mission. So, I'm still enjoying all of this which is really fun. Things are starting to pick up in the area a little bit. I mean, we're not going to be baptizing the masses or anything. I'm no Alma, probably won't get 3,500 this year. But, maybe...

I'm super tired all the time. I just want to sleep. You know it's bad when at 6:30 am, you say to yourself, "Oh, only 16 more hours till I get to sleep." It's like when I was a new missionary and Monday would end and I'd say, "Ahhh, only 6 more days till p-day." The weeks go by so fast though now. I'm at 14 months now. Almost into single digit time left, which BLOWS my mind. Anyways, I hope things are good for everybody at home. I'm with a greenie so he gets more mail than me, so if anybody is ever bored... I need to put him in his place.

Elder Damon Chlarson

3165 Riverview Dr. Apt 1A

Grand Rapids, MI 49544

Nobody better stalk me. It's been a problem. Just kidding.

Really though...

P.S. Shout out to Jeremy Randall, my #1 boy.

Letter #30 - October 15, 2012

Well, it's been an interesting week. I'm pretty sure that the sister missionaries poisoned me. They made "taco salad" that included lettuce, chips, and cheese. I'm not really sure why, but there was no ground beef. Perhaps they decided that was too much effort. Yet, they decided to make chicken which is obviously much easier to thaw, prepare, and cook. (Sarcasm). Anyways, I wasn't too psyched on the way they prepared the chicken, but I ate it anyways...

About two hours later my body hated me. Shakes, coldness, sorrow, depression, laughing, it was weird. Just kidding. I just wanted to puke, my head wanted to explode, and my body wanted to be in a climate about 130 degrees as opposed to Michigan's 50 degree weather. Anyways, I had to stay in after trying to work,  and I threw up later.

My body hasn't recovered and every time I eat I get a stabbing pain in my belly. I've lost about ten pounds this week, so I'm back down to about 170 which is good news I guess. I even felt like I wanted to die after a small bowl of honey nut cheerios. Sad stuff.

We had a huge miracle happen this week: a Mormon.org media referral that actually worked out. She came to stake conference and also is reading so it's good news. We'll see what happens.

Stay classy,

Damon.

Letter #29 - October 1, 2021

Well, here we go...

Transfers happened. LUCKILY, I get to stay in the Grand Valley ward in Grand Rapids. I'm excited. My new companion is not in the mission yet. I'll meet him on Thursday. Elder Masters is going to be in the Grand Rapids ward, right across the road. I'm stoked! We're in the same district and we'll be on trade-offs. So we'll see. We're both getting new missionaries so they're in for a great time! I'm going to miss having Elder Masters are 24/7 though. I can't believe it's been almost three months. July 11-October4.

I'm very blessed to be staying in the Grand Valley area. It's been great. It feels like I've been here for like, three weeks or something. I can't believe it. Grand Rapids is probably the best place I've ever lived. There's just so much going on. (Anybody reading this should google "ArtPrize 2012") Coming to Grand Rapids all happened by chance but it was definitely inspired. It's crazy how life works, things just work. In the words of Motion City Soundtrack: "It's not a matter of time, it's just a matter of timing." So, I'll continue on. I turned 13 months yesterday. I can't believe how fast it's going.

So I'll for sure be in Grand Rapids for 12 more weeks, luckily. There's really nowhere else to go, even though I sort of miss Coldwater. But, I'l continue to enjoy it here. So, I'll be here until at least Christmas. Then, I'm at 16 months. It's just insane how fast it goes when you're working hard and enjoying yourself. Life really isn't all that serious, contrary to what they tell you in high school.

I also hear that a couple of bros from high school are getting married? I can't believe it's happening.

I'm thankful for all the support. Sorry my grammar and vocabulary are not up to par, but I'm getting rusty. I can barely read regular writings anymore, it has to be scriptural text. Also, I'm sorry I'm not funny anymore, maybe I'll get it back someday.

Damon.

Letter #28 - September 11, 2001

I don't have too much to say in this one but there was a couple events I wanted to document.

Yesterday we had a general authority come to the mission. His name is Elder Schwitzer of the seventy. He's pretty new. He was a great speaker. He mainly talked about repentance and how to help those we work with do so. It was good to know that true repentance is true conversion. They also talked about listening. I'm not a good listener. If you focus in on people when they talk, and listen to their needs, concerns, feelings, thoughts etc. you'll be able to help more and you'll develop a far better personal relationship with those around you.

Yesterday also, we were at a less-active lady's house. She's pretty old and she wants to come back to church but her family is very Catholic and is controlling. You know, basic Catholicism stuff from the dark ages (I went there). Then, her son in law came in, drunk as a skunk, and told us to "Beat it." That was funny because I hadn't heard anybody say that in a Bostonian accent, so it was cool. I felt like I was in a movie. He looked like the Situation from Jersey Shore. He had the tan lines, the greasy hair, and the tight shirt to match. Oh, and an old Lexus. Anyways, he started cussing me out about a modern day prophet and said that "Jesus is in your heart" which is true, but he's missing something. He also said that "Jesus is the man" which sort of made me man. You can say things like "Blake Griffin is the man" or "Snoop lion is the man" but when you talk about the Savior of mankind like that, it's just disrespectful.

Anyways, another average week in Grand Rapids. We had a car so we avoided the bus. So, I didn't get molested this week.

Tune in next week,

Damon.

Letter #27 - 1 Year

So, at approximately at 6:00 in the morning on Tuesday, August 30, 2011, I said goodbye to two best friends Connor Hanna and Steven Devine. I said good-bye and quoted "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" and I was off. I said bye to my mom and Big Al. After that, I walked onto a plane to Salt Lake City.

My mission started on August 31. I can't believe it's been a year. I've learned some stuff in a year. As I've been riding the bus, I write down in my little notebook the lessons I've learned. I've also set some new goals.... Here is my list of things that I've learned on my mission...

1. Loving somebody is a choice. You are put around people, companions, investigators, members that you just don't like. It's pretty easy to just say "I don't like that person, so I'm just going to ignore them." BUT when you spend ALL day EVERY day with a guy, you learn to get over it. So, if you want to love somebody and get along with them, you will. Love is a choice. But, them being a girl and attractive makes it easier right? (Not on the mission)

2. The scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon, are amazing. I was a definite slacker on the studying of my scriptures (like most missionaries) before my mission. I have since repented and I love them. One hour of study every day is not enough.

3. Obedience is happiness. Doing what God says, and the mission standards say makes you happy. That's just what happens.

4. Hard work is rewarding. Work brings happiness. I never ever ever thought I would EVER think that, but I do. So, that's what it is. I've gone through spells of slacking and working hard on my mission, when I work like a beast, life is awesome. Before the mission, I avoided work at all possible points.

5. Repentance is something to rejoice in, not dread. As a youth in the church, I was always bummed to hear about repentance. But, why not get good in God's eyes? The sin has been committed. We should dread sin, not repentance. COME ON! (Spoken like GOB from Arrested Development)

6. Attitude matters. All my life I have heard that the attitude determines your latitude (don't you dare quote Kanye here). I never bought it. BUT, attitude truly does make us happy or sad. Most happy people have average lives, but their attitudes are great. There is no such thing as a perfect situation. EVER. It could always be a little warmer or colder, the steak could always be a little more or less done. It's just never perfect, so it's good to accept it. I love attitude.

7. Agency is a gift and a curse. We've all got our agency. I hate it. Sometimes you just want to force people to do what you say. But, imagine how God feels. It's our biggest gift from God, the ability to do what we want. But, we often misuse it. I do. All the time. So, blessing and curse.

8. Party stores in Michigan are not the same as party stores in Washington. I thought a party store got you matching party hats, table clothes, napkins, etc. In Michigan, people go to party stores to get trashed. Alcohol...

9. I actually do have the ability it gain weight. I always thought I was always thin. But, I have been proved wrong. I blame Taco Bell and Elder Masters.

10. Communication is key in everything. If you're mad, communicate it with your offendor. If you're happy, tell somebody. Spread positivity, work out negativity. Eliminate it. I think that's a huge one.

That's all. Year two starts Saturday. I can't believe it's come to this... If you told me I'd be here a year ago, I'd probably believe you. Didn't see that coming huh?

Damon, out.

Letter #26 - August 20, 2012

Okay, so my eighth transfer cycle (six weeks) is over with. I've been on a mission for 51 weeks! The one year panic has struck me. Have I read enough of the New Testament or the Doctrine and Covenants? Have I accomplished the goals I wanted to? I'm still not very good at studying, can I improve that in a year? I have all these unanswered questions.

 

I'm staying in Grand Rapids (Grand Valley area) with Elder Masters again, for at least six more weeks. Pretty excited about all of it. We've been having a lot of fun. Last week was probably the most tiring, exhausting week of my mission and I loved it. We went out and doorknocked a ton. It was great though. So, we got rejected 150 times and we got one return appointment. That's like, the worst average ever. It's like Shaq shooting free throws, or Chone Figgins batting average. Does he still play? That dude sucks. How are the Mariners doing? I heard Dwight Howard went to the Lakers. Ray Allen is on the Heat. What is with these super teams? It's ruining the sport.Only one more college football and NFL season of being out of the loop. I'm glad. I miss it so much. Are the Seahawks going to be good? No. I can answer that right now. Maybe the Lions will. I claim rights to all Michigan teams now, except UofM. Our mission is MSU fans.

 

I got in a huge bible bash/fight with this guy the other day. I'm not proud of what I did. But, it was funny. I felt bad a little bit afterward, just because it turned into me not really caring if he wanted to accept it, and more into making him know that I'm right. When someone starts to bag on Joseph Smith, I get a little offended. Usually people believe the same as us as to Christ's life, so I don't get mad about that.

 

My feet have blisters on them. My shoes have become completely flat. But, my white shirts are still looking good. We ate Taco Bell 23 times last transfer. Five weeks. That's a huge average. It was crazy. So, we're not going to eat Taco Bell this transfer. I'm assuming that will end around noon today. A new transfer, new goals and stuff. I'm excited.

 

Anyways, this next year should be pretty good. I hope everybody decides to be Mormon when I come home.

 

Love,

Big Damon.O

Letter #25 - July 30th, 2012

Alright, I got some new stories for whoever will read this (thanks mom). Okay, so this week I found out that I'll be staying in Grand Rapids for the entire transfer, luckily, and that's only three more weeks, unfortunately. Hopefully I can stay more. I'm really really enjoying my time here. But we take the bus a lot, as I have previously stated. So here are my bus stories for the week...

A jewish guy came up to me, he was wearing a red coat which he heavily emphasized to me, and he started going off about being from the tribe of Levi. So, he has rights to the priesthood that I just don't have (he doesn't know that, nor did he say that). Anyways, he wears a red coat so that God will recognize him as a servant when the Messiah comes (he missed that boat). He asked if I could help him get back to Jerusalem and I just said, "No, I have no money. I'm poor. Maybe you could get a job or something..."

I met a drifter this week. A big ol' chubby guy. He had a backpack and a sleeping bag. He started telling me about all the drugs he's done, all the girls he has slept with, and all the places he's been. Now, I'm no private investigator, but I think he was lying. Anyways, he is just telling me all this stuff. (Small background, Elder Masters walks away when crazy people walk up to us so I have to deal with them. It's pretty funny.) It's entertaining, I'll give him that, but it's still annoying. So he gets away and I'm glad. Then, a day later, we went to the bathroom in the bus station (scary) and we heard creaking out through a stall, "They sure got you workin' hard... Good morning Elders." Elder Masters looked at me with shock and mouths the words "the drifter!" Elder Masters washes his hands really fast and backs out. Then, the drifter says, "Ughh I ate some bad eggs." I just said, "Oh, I know how that goes." For the record, I most definitely DO NOT know how that goes. I walk away, never to see him again.

On to some Elder Chlarson and Elder Masters stories. Background: Elder Masters hates fish. I hate meatloaf and green beans, the kind out of the can. We go to a dinner appointment and guess what we have? Meatloaf! I just eat it and take seconds because I'm nice (yeah, that's right mom, I eat food I don't like out here because I'm polite). When they say we're having meatloaf Elder Masters grins and grabs my leg and says, "Oh Elder Chlarson loves meatloaf." So now I always hope we eat fish, he hopes it's green beans or meatloaf. Fast forward to Wednesday. We go over to a lady's house and she has made us roast beef, mashed potatoes, corn and ... wait for it... green beans! I dish up my own plate and sit down(it's buffet style) and my plate remains green bean-less. Elder Masters sneaks up behind and says, "Elder Chlarson, you forgot green beans" and he dishes up a big old spoonful. I just say, "Oh, thanks Elder Masters." Then He tells the member, "Oh green beans are Elder Chlarson's favorite. He didn't take very many because he wanted to let everybody else have some, so he could just take the rest." I just say, "Oh of course, you found me out." Then, we both finish. He goes and gets seconds. Then, he grabs my plate, "I'll get yours Elder Chlarson." The member says, "Oh it's great to see companionships that get along and help eachother, and knows what the other one likes." I just say, "Oh yeah, isn't it great?" Then I turn around and, with the meanest look on my face, mouth "NO GREEN BEANS!" He just smiles and nods his head. He gave me another spoonful. They didn't kill me, but it was still funny.

So, last story. It rained so hard on Friday. We were on foot and the bus. We had no rain jackets, I left mine in my area I had for a day. It starts raining bad and we have one umbrella. So we use it and half of our bodies were wet. We tried to preserve ourselves as best we could. The bus is late. So we are standing downtown in the rain at the bus stop and cars are driving by, people are laughing. Even I'm laughing, things sucked so bad it was funny to me. Then a car, a maroon Chevrolet Trailblazer drove by and splashed us with a big puddle. LIKE IT WAS A MOVIE. I was so furious, it was hilarious.

So, that's my life.

Damon, out.

Letter # 24 - July, 23, 2012

Alright, I know I just updated but this has been a good week. I'm staying in Grand Rapids still for at least this week. My mission president said I'll probably be staying here unless he prays and feels otherwise. Things are going good here so he wants to keep it how it is. I'm glad. Grand Rapids has so much going on.

 

 

So, we have to take the bus. I was on it the other day and we were riding back to our apartment. We went to the back and sat down. I sat across from this black dude with dreads pulled back into a pony tail. He was eating a sucker. He was possibly intoxicated. Actually, he was intoxicated. On the Grand Rapids bus you aren't supposed to swear. So when we sit down he sees me and says, "ohh man, boy you in the wrong section" and I was just like "oh, why's that?" And he just said we were different people. He starts going off about something. He says he doesn't need church to be close to God. (Note: He's being nice and playful, but he's being an idiot so I sort of start to antagonize him) He says to me, "Dude, you gotta girlfriend?" I said no. He looked at my companion and asked, "What about you?" And he said no. Then he kind of chuckles and says, "Look bro, if I didn't see yo badge, I would have thought... that... well.. You know..." and I said, "Gay?" He said, "Exactly! Yes, thank you. Now I don't have to say it." I just said, "How many gay people have you ever met that dress identically the same?" And he says, "Well you know you ain't got no girls or nothin'" and I explained our situation. He said, "Still though, god don't hate me because I have sex." So, at this point, I should have abandoned the conversation. But I don't. He swears and the bus driver gets on the intercom and tells him to stop. Then, after he's a jerk about us being missionaries, I just say, "What exactly do you do with your life? What is your purpose?" He chuckles and says, you don't want to know. I said, "Booze, weed, and women? Real original." And he goes off about his kids and his baby mama. He swears again and he gets kicked off the bus. He gives me this look like, "YOU DID THIS TO ME!" And I get scared. Hopefully I don't run into that guy...

 

We are having some good times. Door knocking in the 'hood is sweet. You meet some interesting people. I've gained some weight this transfer, we eat Taco Bell all the time.

 

So yeah, that's my life. I'll probably update it more that cool stuff is happening.

Letter #23 - July 16, 2012

Well, right after I got settled in Marshall, a new missionary in the MTC got sick and had to stay there for a couple weeks. I got a call Wednesday at 10:40 pm that said, "Hey Elder, A missionary got sick in the MTC and won't be making it out here for a while. Elder Masters in Grand Rapids. Be ready at 7 tomorrow morning." So, I packed all my stuff up again and got up and drove to Lansing. There I met Elder Masters and we took off to Grand Rapids. Elder Masters and I were reallly close in the MTC and got along great. We wanted to serve together so bad and we finally have the chance. They said it's just for a couple weeks or so, but we're trying to make it go longer. It's just awesome here.

Grand Rapids is the biggest city in our mission and it's about the size of Spokane, but a little bigger metropolitan area. It's pretty sweet. There is a ton of people here and the ward is really cool. I've got a couple stories for everybody. So...

I was on the bus, which I was very afraid of at first. We went on it and we were the only white people on the bus. I wasn't scared. I was scared of the bus for some reason. I was afraid someone would throw up on me I guess, I don't know. I've watched too many movies. I just think of this scene in "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" where Dee is on the bus and gets thrown up on. Anyways.

We ride the bus to central station and there are people everywhere and it's crazy. There's a guy that comes up to us and starts speaking spanish. I can't understand any of it. HE has a heavy Dominican dialect. It was crazy. So this 13 year old kid translated for us. We hooked him up with the Spanish misionaries. It was cool. The little kid tried to get money. He talked to us for like three minutes. Cheap kid.

When we go to get back on the bus, our bus driver decides to take a break. This guy freaks out! He has a disabled wife and she had to get off while he went to the bathroom. It was crazy. So the guy is swearing and going nuts. Then we get back on. This Hispanic couple tries to get on the bus and their two and one year old boys don't have shirts on. The bus driver makes them get off the bus. This random girl gives the boys extra shirts she happened to have. The big guy freaks again and gets up in the drivers face and like grabs and pushes him by the collar and gets thrown off.

Things got crazy. I loved it. There are so many crazy people. There's so much to do that it's pretty fun. I don't have time or energy to think much about home. It's pretty sweet. You can always send me letters at...

Elder Damon Chlarson 1400 Abbot Road Ste. #310 East Lansing, MI 48823

Letter #22 - July 9, 2012

Well, I'm moving on again. I'm going to the area directly north of my first area. I'm going to Marshall, MI. It's a nice little town. It's right next to the cereal city, Battle Creek, and if there's one thing about Damon Chlarson, it's that he loves the crap out of cereal. So, that obsession should only grow. I've been to Marshall a bunch for trade-offs back in my Coldwater days. I'll be in a trio with two sweet missionaries. One of them is going home at the end of the transfer so I'll try not to think about home too much.

Now, all three of my areas touch. So, I'll be a year at the end of this coming transfer and I'll have three areas. I'm excited to see where the next area is, it might be far away, but maybe not. I don't really know what else to say.

It was 113 degrees with the humidity one day. It was in the 100s a few days. It was bad. The temperature was at 95 with barely any humidity and I was like "wow, it's a nice day. What is it, 85 or something?" (Yes, I'm actually talking about the weather). I'm stoked for the coming weeks and months.

Stay sweet,
Damon.

Letter #21 - July 2, 2012

Okay, so it's been a while since I've written, I think. So I'm going to update some stories.   Okay, so there was this drunk dude that was sleeping some bushes. He's really really scrawny and wearing no shirt. He's wearing cut off jean shorts, some of those old grandpa shoes that Brandon Dejardins(I miss that dude so much by the way) used to wear in that ironic way he does things. Somebody should tell him to write me. Anyways he yells "hey, help me up." I should've known this was a bad idea. So, I help him up and he's so extremely wasted. Like, so drunk it's crazy. He starts telling me about how he's homeless, an alcoholic, just got fired, and his wife left him (I wonder why).   He says he wants some help from us. I think it's because we're missionaries. But we're not like Salvation army missionaries or some non-denominational dudes who go to South Africa and build schools or whatever. I'm just trying to teach and find, you know? He doesn't understand that I have no place for him to stay. I know there's a homeless shelter in Jackson, MI. So he says that he has a place to stay, but he also doesn't have a place to stay. I'm so confused. They don't prepare you for this monkey business in the MTC.   He starts saying how he doesn't like my companion, for some reason. He looks shell-shocked like they didn't have homeless people or drunk people in Riverton, UT. At this point, I'm pretty much unfazed for some reason or another; I'm starting to think it's funny. So, starts saying how he used to rob people all the time. He kept jumping at me, and pretending that he was going to hit me and rob me. Then, I'm pretty sure he was trying to. So I just sort of push him away and step back. He keeps saying how he's going to "F me up and rob me" but with more randomly placed profanity. It was awesome. He pretty much insults me and says a curse word that starts with "F" and says you afterward. So I walk away. He's like "Hey, where are you going?" I said "You were mean to me and I was trying to help." He starts chasing after me, then he stops and turns back.   I played like, prison style basketball on an 11 foot hoop. What's happening to my life? I've actually been playing lots of random pickup games in my proselyting clothes. It's pretty funny. Not sure if I'm supposed to, but I doubt that God is too mad at me for it.   It was 106 degrees the other day. I was not happy. My black pants were not happy. I felt like my forehead was a solar panel but instead of giving me energy I nearly collapsed. I usually hate drinking water because it's gross, but I've been drinking more of it.   I have nothing exciting to say. Anyways, thanks for the letters everybody. It reminds me of a song by the Wonder Years, "I don't know why I'm here, but I know who my friends are." Transfer calls are on Friday. President Hess made a hint that I'll be leaving Jonesville. So, we'll see. Hold on, summer. I'll be back next year.   Damon, out.

Letter #20 - June 4, 2012

Hello, I don't know what to say. I'm not sure the last time I wrote or anything. It probably couldn't have been that long ago. I'm here in Hillsdale, Michigan still. I've been here like three months ish. I'm nine months out in the field now which is crazy. Never thought I'd be this old. It's really not too crazy though I guess.   I have a new companion. We just finished our first week together. Things are going good. I really don't know what else to say. These things are boring for anybody to read. I realized how much i miss sleep this week. I have nothing to really say, you know? This is pointless.   I'll save up sometime for some good stories.

Letter #19 - May 7th, 2012

Dear non-interested readers, I'm still alive, checking in from Hillsdale, Michigan. Things are going pretty good here in missionary land. I'll recap the last few weeks or something. I went to back to Coldwater to see a baptism and it was way fun. I got to see Elder Fletcher, a friend from before the mission, and he was awesome. My last companion is doing so great. He's getting ready to go home in a few weeks so he's super ready for that business. The baptism went very well. It was a great feeling to know I helped somebody in that manner. I know she'll do fantastic. Let's see. A story that happened. So we were in Lansing for a zone conference. Afterward, some missionaries and I ate at Chipotle and then we were walking around and found a record store. I got stoked. So, I went inside and started talking to the guy who was working there about music. We talked about everything from Grizzley Bear to Say Anything (he actually knew that "Baseball" was their first album, not "...Is a Real Boy."). Eventually, I was able to turn it into the gospel. We talked about Christ and the Book of Mormon and all of that. Before we left, he asked for a Book of Mormon. It was sweet. But, I didn't have one on me. So another missionary we were with was just like "I can have one in like 30 seconds." And just took off to the car. We got it to him. I remembered why I love this work. We had some more finding success. I can't wait to see how things work out. I really don't know what else to say. I hope the summer is being prepared. Everyone needs to go like 100X harder than usual, I won't be there to pick up the slack. My friends need to jump off some cliffs for me. You know who you are. Take it easy, Damon.

Letter #18 - April 2, 2012

So, I have not a lot to report. So I'll just write some thoughts and things that have happened.



1. I wonder what Brandon Flowers' calling is in the church.

2. The Book of Mormon has a terrible ending. Everyone dies. Great book though 9.5/10. (Just kidding, 10/10)

3. I realized that my hairline is definitely receding. I'm over it. Should I become bald, I'll rock it with pride.

4. The mission is a short representation of your entire life. You're young, scared, and foolish. Then, you hit your teen years where you know everything. I'm still stuck in that phase. We'll see where it goes from there.

5. I wonder if people giving prayers at General Conference write their prayers before hand.

6. If I copy God's ideas in the eternity, will he be mad? (Deep doctrine stuff)

7. God had a chosen people in the Old Testament, why not in these latter-days?

8. I wonder if Ether died or was translated. Talk about a cliff-hanger.

9. I think we should start referring to my brother Collin as the Brother of Damon.

10. Will fart jokes ever get old?

11. I guess these would probably have been facebook statuses.



I'm out.

Letter #17 - March 26, 2012

This is going to be a little bit serious, a different tone, if you will. While thinking today, and emailing a friend that is extremely dear to me, I remembered many moments in my life. I reflected back to a song by the Killers called "All These Things That I've Done." Moral of the song, I've made a lot of mistakes, and I need some major help. The breakdown of the song says, "I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier." I relate to the Killers in many ways,. The lead singer, Brandon Flowers, is a member of the church that is active now, but wasn't exactly. I was spiritually inactive and really did resent the church, I have to admit it. It's sad to say I was half-hearted and took for granted the very thing and people who gave me life and made this all possible.



But, the difference is this: somehow, some way, I was able to overcome all of that. Then, I got to thinking, what would have happened if I hadn't have taken the route that I had taken? There's a Killers song called "Boots" that says, "I wasted my wishes on Saturday nights, oh what I would give for just one more." It reminds me of how I would go back and re-do it all. I would spend less time with girls, less time staying out late, and way more time at home with my family, way more time at church. I could have helped so many struggling youth, so many people who were in need of service, but I turned my back. Sadly, I can't deny the fact.



If I had taken that route, how would I be today? Would I be holier than thou? Maybe I wouldn't have been this way. In Alma 32 (the Book of Mormon for you non-believers), I was like them, compelled to be humbled. I couldn't sleep, eat, or even breathe normal. My heart rate was once 130 bpm, which is really not okay for a 19 year old that was in shape. But, luckily I was able to grasp onto the atonement of Jesus Christ.



Much like the band Fireworks, "I spend all my time, trying to find what I need, but I was biting the hand that fed me. It saw I was down but still looking up from the ditch, so it grew its nails out, it was just trying to scratch my itch." That is extreme truth. I was totally biting the hand that fed me. But, not anymore.



"So I stopped running, started walking instead. It was all in my head, nothing's against me. This war was more civil, I realized, I had to secede from both sides." (Fireworks, the song "Arrows"). That is Damon Chlarson in a nutshell. But, it's all done.



What's the point of this ramble of a blog post? I'm not entirely sure. I think it's just to say how thankful I am to be where I am today. Maybe I could've done this either way I could have taken. But, I didn't. For some reason, God let me take the long way, so I did. But, I'm happy now and completely full. My heart isn't black and cold, it just had a little bit of frost bite (bad metaphor). I thank my parents and my family for never giving up on me. I thank my awesome friends who helped me out a ton. "At least now I know that what I have was built by the people I love, you wished you loved anything the way I love my friends, now we're moving glaciers, I hope this never ends." (Fireworks, "the Wild Bunch")



As far as my mission goes, the more I go through this and personally progress, the more I revert back to being a little kid. So, I'm less afraid of what's to come. But, I won't be somebody I don't like. "I stopped searching for answers, I learned my lesson that life is just a rhetorical question." I still remember lyrics like a champ. Seven months out. Almost 1/3 completed. Crazy stuff.



Damon, out.

Letter #16 - March 19, 2012

Well, I'm out of Coldwater. It's been a while since I've updated or anything. I'll try to see what I can say that's ambiguous enough to protect those that I may be friends with, but obvious enough that people can understand. I left Coldwater. I miss a lot of people. I don't miss some things about it at the same time.



I'm in Jonesville and it's so much fun. We actually live in a town called Hillsdale which is right next to it. But, I love it nonetheless. IIt's been going pretty good. My new companion is pretty cool. It's been a party pretty much the whole time that I've been here. We've been having tons of fun. We're doing good work too, so that's most important I suppose.



The weather is good. I got my first taste of humidity, of which, I'm not a fan. Is that proper English? I don't know, I'm losing it. I'm out of practice. Plus, I'm used to a mac keyboard and they rock. I hate this PC business.



Anyways, I'm almost seven months old. I don' t know how hte last month has flown by so fast. But it has. It feels like I'm entering a time warp. I'll see you all soon enough.



-Damon

Letter #15 - February 13, 2012

Everybody,

Well, it's Monday in Coldwater. It's a pretty decent day. Not too cold with a little bit of sun. Do you guys like it when I give you a weather forecast? I'm going to be that old man who sits in a diner and talks about the weather and what he used to be. What a sad life.

I thought I would update people, even though there isn't a lot going on here. Not a lot has happened I don't think. I'll try to think. We have zone conference in Kalamazoo which is the name of an actual city in Michigan. I'm going to give away Valentine's to all the missionaries in the zone, like the ones you do in elementary school. Those were the days. The biggest problem I had in elementary school was which girl I wanted to impress and which sport I was playing at recess. And how I was going to avoid Junior Joggers. Did anybody else that grew up in the Ephrata school system hate Junior Joggers? For those of you not indoctrinated with cardiovascular health from a young age, I'll explain Junior Joggers. During recess, lunch usually, you run around the track and get tickets. Three tickets were a mile in Columbia Ridge, the far superior elementary school to Grant, which was four laps per mile. (Yeah, I'm startin' that fight) Some teachers, I'm not going to name names, made you get at least one ticket during lunch. It was gay, because I wanted to play basketball. If you got a certain amount, you got a T-shirt. If you went above and beyond you'd get a 100 mile club thing printed on the back of it.

Overall, it was lame. But, I digress. Pretty much the same stuff in a different week here. Let's see. I've been trying to eat less pizza. Which is a sad situation. I miss Time Out Pizza from back home. The pizza here doesn't compare. Maybe it's because it's what I'm used to. Is pizza hut still in business? Should I burn it down when I'm home? Great, now I'm going to be in trouble for arson.

Anyways, things are good. I hope people are doing well at home. Sorry this is a waste of time update. Nobody's reading this anyway though, so it's cool.

Letter #14 - January 23, 2012

All right everybody, guess what? I have huge news. I'm staying in Coldwater for a fourth transfer. Which is alright, there are definitely people I cannot stand to say goodbye to, but I hope more happens this transfer. It's been a hard last few weeks here in Coldwater, MI. The weather has sucked, but we're through the worst of it and I've had a moderately good attitude. So, it snowed a ton and then it got 45 degrees and rained. The snow's gone.

The work is hard still. We're trying but not a lot is going on. I just have to remember that it's easy to work hard when the work comes easy. We're struggling to fill days but we're doing the best we can.

But, back to this week. So, I've been spending some time with this old man that's probably on his way out here pretty quickly. But, he's just kind of struggling in the hospital. It's kind of inspiring, sad, and faith-building all at once. I can't really explain how it feels to me. But, before I left yesterday, I said, "Hey (name withheld), don't have too much fun." He just smirked and said, "Oh, I'm chasin' the girls all around!" It made me laugh. He's a stud.

I was on trade-offs with a missionary who has had troubles. He decked his first companion. He ran away from one of his others. He told a little kid he was from hell. He's had a rough first 12 months. But, he went on trade-offs with me. The night grew on and it's about 10. I'm getting ready to sleep. He starts talking about his mission and his goals and this and that. He says some super inspiring stuff about consecration, taking baby steps to conquer problems, building faith, purifying our intentions. Yeah, it gets really good. He said some things that really changed my mission.

Then today, I get a voicemail from him. He said, in his southern Texas accent, "Hey Elder Chlarson, if chickens had lips, could they whistle?" I didn't reply. That reminded me of Justin Leighter. I hope he reads this. Somebody, tell him to read this. Wait, nobody is reading this anyways.

We visited this other big lady who's in this rehabilitation center. She's having an allergic reaction so she's scratching herself constantly. This nurse comes in and she tells the nurse to scratch her back. So, she gives the nurse a hairbrush. The nurse is scratching hard and she says to her. "What are you playin' in the sand? Dig. Put some muscle into it. Act like you're going to China!" Crazy stuff.

Well, we shall see how this week goes. Enjoy the real world everybody.

Letter #13 - January 16, 2012

Hello outside world, I'd love to give you some crazy new fun information... but there really isn't any. I've been here in Coldwater for four months now, and I'm pretty ready for a new area. We get our transfer calls here pretty soon, Friday, and I've got my fingers crossed. I feel like I'll probably stay in Coldwater one more transfer. Which makes this six months in my first area.

My companion is doing alright. He's pretty interesting. We're polar opposites and it's okay. We're on week six together. We've had some good times and some bad times, which is pretty typical. It's funny how being with a companion works. Right when you get really comfortable it's time for transfer calls. But, knock on wood, I know I'm staying. I'm preparing myself.

Honestly, if I do leave, it'll be hard. That crappy apartment has become my home. I'll miss the people here a lot. There are some people I've grown really close to over the course of the last three transfers. But, we'll see what card President has up his sleeve. He's a wild card so you don't know what to expect.

The people of Coldwater are not too excited about me knocking on their doors, still. Not finding a whole lot of success, but that's part of the mission I guess. Sometimes I wish I was in South America dunking people every week. But, I'm in Michigan where everybody hates Mormons. It'll happen though, I just need to have faith.

I can't really remember if there were many fun stories that have happened. Sorry. I feel like I'm not very cheery in this post. I'm doing good overall, I'm just super tired today and I don't have a peppy attitude. I just want to sleep for a year. Hopefully this week brings some excitement so I don't seem so dull and lifeless. It's safe to say I've aged a year this week.

Damon, out.