The Final Blog - August 25, 2013

Obviously at the end of any journey, you spend a lot of time reflecting. I'm naturally a very introspective (self-consumed) person anyway, so I've been relishing in the past for the past few weeks. From Coldwater to Ludington. 

 

It honestly feels like it wasn't too long ago I was waking up August 30th, 2011 and thinking, "What am I about to do?" I had no idea what to expect. I thought about all the events leading up to the missionary training center. I thought about the plane ride to Michigan. I thought about getting my trainer. My first area. I'll never forget riding bikes in Coldwater, singing Killers' songs to myself as I pretended to be somewhere else, doing something else. 

 

But, I did it. I'm almost an inch taller. I'm coming home the same weight. My hairline is a bit more receded though, and my skin isn't nearly as nice, and I'm pretty exhausted. I just want to sleep in my own bed. But, I did it. After all the door knocking, the snow, the no-show appointments, days with no mail, self-doubt, lonely late nights, people not returning our calls, and constant asking myself "What am I even doing?" But, I did it. 

 

Now, I'm not sure what people are expecting. I'm probably just psyching myself out, but I hope nobody expects a general authority. I'm not mature at all. I'm probably more child-like than when I left. Why? Because now, the pretenses of being sophisticated, wise, and grown-up are gone. Those were just acts. The cynicism and sarcasm aren't nearly as strong. I actually enjoy people now. But I assure the world, I haven't changed a bit. I've improved, I have grown, but if anything, I've stripped a lot of the artificiality out of myself, and I'm myself. I think. I'm trying not to worry about it.

 

I thank God that I have done what I did. Granted, were it not for Him, and a power greater than I possess, I would have had no chance. Missions are two years for a reason. If I had a choice to go again, I would. Maybe not right now. But, I wouldn't change it. I'm glad things have ended the way they have. I now know that God truly has a plan and he is in the details of our lives. I'm so grateful for this experience and I exhort (yes, exhort. I've been reading too many scriptures) every young man to serve.

 

But now as George Bluth says, "It's time for me to mosey on." I will soon be home with my biological family. But I will never forget all the family I have accumulated in this little Mitten state.

 

"And it came to pass that we did pitch our tents by the seashore; and notwithstanding we had suffered many afflictions and much difficulty, yea, even so much that we cannot write them all, we were exceedingly rejoiced when we came to the seashore..." (1 Nephi 17:6). 

 

It's time for me to get to the seashore.

Letter #45 - August 12, 2013

Well, this was a pretty good week for the most part. I've had a few interesting events occur. Well really only one.

I baptized a man in Lake Michigan. It was fulfillment of prophecy by day one of the mission Elder Chlarson staring at the lake as I flew to Detroit. Alas, Bill came up to me and said he wanted to be baptized. The stars had to align to make this happen. I had to A) be transferred to Lake Michigan's coastline, B) have somebody who wanted to be baptized, and C) have him want me to do it in the Lake. Things were not looking promising for a while, but things worked out.

Lake Michigan's cold water reminded me of many days out in Billy Clapp Lake. Many memories of the homeboys came to mind. I'll be there shortly.

Damon

Letter #44 - July 29, 2013

I'm going to update a little on the last couple weeks. Things have been relatively calm and quiet. This update may get a little graphic. 

I have a couple catch phrases I say quite often when things go wrong. The first is, "Something happened..." and then "I knew it was a bad idea, but I did it anyway." Well, I had a couple of those experiences.

Last Friday, the 19th I believe, I was sitting at my desk and cutting up this marker cap. I was just bored and cutting stuff for fun, regular people stuff. Well, my hande slipped and got the top of my finger, right above the top knuckle before the nail. I cut it pretty deep to. "Oh no..." It was pretty cool to look at. We pulled the skin flap back and it looked like a mouth throwing up blood. Now, that was a little crude, and I apologize, but you have to get the idea.

Well, we went out and it was about seven hours later and it bled through about four band aids. So, we went to the hospital. Since I waited so long they could stitch, so they super glued it. Well, that didn't work so I've still got a pretty gnarly cut on my finger that's waiting to heal. It was pretty fun though. 

Yesterday during church we had a member of the seventy there and there was a mix-up on who was supposed to speak so as I was passing the sacrament, I was motioned out into the hallway. I was asked to speak by the missionary who was supposed to speak. So, we finished the sacrament and about thirty seconds later I was up at the pulpit to speak. 

I spoke on the Book of Mormon and the Holy Ghost's converting effect, Joseph Smith's mission in revealing Christ, additional scripture, and our premortal life's effect on our probationary estate. Now, given the circumstances, I think things went pretty well. Then the seventy got up and told stories about the Twelve. I can't compete with that! 

I have four weeks left and I'm nervous and excited. I have a lot of reasons to be excited but there's a lot of uncertainty. I've almost forgotten what home is like. I've heard stories but I guess I will have to experience it for myself. I will definitely miss Michigan, but I will settle back into my element and strive to be contented.

Letter #43 - July 15, 2013

Well, it's been about a month or so. A lot has and hasn't happen. You never really know how fast time goes until it goes, then it goes and you wonder where it went. Then you wonder where you've been while it went where it went. Then you realize time is an illusion and it hasn't gone anywhere, nor has it been anywhere, not has it the potential of going anywhere. DOES ANYBODY WANT TO CONTINUE READING?!

This is week one of my last transfer cycle (a six week period for those of you unfamiliar with this subculture of boys dividing their time in transfers and driving around in vans and walking around in white shirts). I'm staying in Ludington. Pretty excited. There are some of my favorite people here. I can't believe. Once I thought to myself, "I'll be in my last transfer someday." But, I never really thought it would happen.

Anyway, I have had a lot of interesting ideas/thoughts/things on my mind the last few days. Here are a few of them.

1. Progress is more easily lost than it is gained. So quickly we can slip back if we don't watch ourselves. I realized that while reading over journal entries.

2. Needing biblical evidence of all things regarding the Restored Gospel is no different than seeking a sign. After finding evidence, it's easy to chalk it up to a misinterpretation or looking beyond the mark. 

3. Do not over-complicate life. It's really fairly simple. 

4. I love the Killers. We were walking by a store and I heard like 5 seconds of them and knew it was "Read My Mind" and I about cried. Music awaits me. 

5. It's much easier to be negative than positive. Negativity is like peeing in a pool. Sure, you can get along with it, but you definitely don't want to be in it too long. Nobody likes pee in a pool. (I just wanted to use a peeing in the pool analogy)

A man I've worked with for about three months came up to me after church yesterday and said he wanted to be baptized before I go home. Now, I have a mission to accomplish before I head home. Things happen for a reason.

Letter #42 - June 17, 2013

Well, this has been an interesting week.

I went on a trade-off with an elder, and we got into a deep conversation about missions and the changes that occur. He was really going through quite the identity crisis. He was concerned that we wasn't changing enough, yet he thought he had changed too much, yet he was afraid he wasn't making the necessary strides to improve. He had it bad. I was half-expecting him to spontaneously get a mohawk and motorcycle. (Stupid joke)

This made me reflect on my last 22 months and the path I took. I then came to the semi-arrogant and very self-assured conclusion that I love myself. I know that may sound bad, but hear me out. I was stressed and stressed (ask my trainer) about changing too much or not at all. I was so freaked out that I would become a drone and I'd get home and be rude and judgmental and everybody would hate me. I really had developed quite a complex.

But, over the course of these last 22, I just sort of changed but didn't. It's impossible to describe, you just have to experience. I have a new take on life, a fresh view about God, myself, and the world, but at the same time, I'm just a little kid still. I'm a completely different person, but I've never been more myself. Throughout high school and into college I was masking myself with some persona that overtook me. Now, I'm just me. No pretenses and I can just be me. 

I assured this young elder that when he was 22 months out, he'd be completely satisfied with who he had become. If you do it right, these two years can benefit your life. You just have to let the change come to you, and you have to be you. It's that simple. Life goes the same way. There's a difference between improving and changing. We should all strive to better ourselves, but we should also never leave ourselves behind.

I turned 21 years old. It was sweet. We had a couple dinners with some awesome people. Ludington has some of my favorite people ever invented. One of the best birthdays I have had. It's not where you are, it's who you're with I suppose. 

I met Elder Christofferson yesterday. His talks have changed my life, particularly "Brethen, We have Work to Do" and "Let Us Be Men." I wanted to say thanks but he shook my hand and all I could do was smile. He spoke to us in Grand Rapids. He had a light shining that I seldom see in people. He is definitely called of God.

That is all,

Damon Chlarson

Letter #41 - June 2, 2013

Subject: Bathroom Revelations

I have had two interesting thoughts in the bathroom (stay with me and get your mind out of the gutter!) in the last weekend. 

First, this morning, I was cleaning up for my new companion and I realized this: I am so sick of living with dudes. I am done with it. As opposed to wanting to "bro out" forever, I don't know how much longer I can clean up after another male.

Second, it came while I was shaving. So, I went to shave and I grabbed my razor. Now, I had been procrastinating buying new razor heads for a while but I thought, hey, what can go wrong? One extra day can't hurt, can it? Well guess what? It did hurt. So, I grabbed the razor, which looked fine on the outside, and commenced shaving.

As I was shaving, it was fine on my cheek, but as it got to my upper lip it began to hurt, and by the time it touched my chin I was in pain! It was pulling, it was tearing, it was outright unpleasant. But, I roughed it out like I had to. Afterward, my face was in pain. I stuck it in the freezer, hoping, praying that perhaps relief would come. However, it did not. It was not until I found some lotion that did the trick. Thanks, Dove. 

I decided that I could not wait another day. We went to Meijer (a Michigan store that's kind of like WalMart but way better) and I looked at the options. I had been using the Fusion Power forever, but I recently had made the change to Schick Hydro 5. It worked well. So, I decided to go with the Hydro 5 heads. 

The next morning came, and I went back to square one. What do you know? It felt amazing! Everything just went well. Not only did it work better, but it felt better. I felt the love from the razor, and it could tell I loved it. 

Now, where am I going with all of this? Stay with me. Now, when I made sure the razor was sharp it cut more effectively. When I made sure that the razor had enough of that little gooey stuff on the edge (I don't know what it's called) it felt better. So here we have it, the razor worked better and felt better. Why wouldn't I always have it be that way?

LAZINESS! That's why! Procrastination! It's just like us in our lives. When we begin to be lazy, putting off prayer, slacking on scriptures, and be coming lukewarm, we lose effectiveness. We aren't as useful as we could be. We, essentially, are all like razors. We need to make sure our razor heads are sharp, meaning that we need to make sure we are praying, reading the scriptures, and attending church to partake of the sacrament. Our razor heads need to be changed often, that means repentance, that means communion with God, and deep, often painful introspection.

Don't be a dull razor. 

Maybe that was a stupid parable, but I enjoyed it when I thought of it. 

Anyways, I get a new companion tomorrow. Probably my last one. I have 12 weeks left. Sweet. 

Love,

Damon

Letter #40 - May 13, 2013

This is an essay I wrote last night when I could not sleep, entitled "By Faith Rather Than by Sight." Enjoy. It may be a bit long.

 

Earthly probations require us to be separated from our Father. We are natives of a noble, exalted sphere where we experienced the warmth of God's presence filling out spirits. Consequently, man is innately spiritual. However, in our mortal state we are carnal and put off the spiritual man inside. We desire tangible proof instead of faith. But, that is not to be so.

 

I met a man who lost his belief in God due to doubts and, as I have perceived, prayers unanswered and signals and signs not receieved or recognized. He brought our entire conversation back to philosophical ideas which, when simplified, made me look foolish and childish in my faith, as if I was grasping at straws in vain. It eventually boiled down to him, in less words, saying "Well, if it makes you feel good..."

 

This troubled me all day. You cannot convey gospel blessings, messages, and truth without using the terminology "I feel" or "intuitively, I know." These communications which, as they say, apply to our pathos only are meaningless to those who have hardened their hearts toward God, yet softened them to just about anything else. He said this, which struck me, "I would pray and say, 'Let me hear your voice, or let me hear silence.' And I would hear silence. 'Let me feel your warm, or let me feel nothing.' And I felt nothing."

 

At this point, I dropped my arguments and realized that this man was being sincere. Now, he's a great man, very respectful, high moral code, and an upstanding person whom I respect; however, that is the most absurd reason to lose faith. It is a philosophy and game-plan which is assuredly from the devil. We cannot build faith on our own terms, and as one schooled in religion he should have known God does not work that way, and never has, and never said he would.

 

We are on earth, walking by faith rather than by sight. We cannot see God, or least most of us are not privileged and I personally would be so shocked and fearful if I did, and would want the mountains to cover me in my flawed state. However, we can see him reaching out to us, one by one, individually, and in small and simple things. Perhaps a quote from a general authority or a small child hits you, or a scripture opens up in a new way, or maybe it's a small moment to yourself at the end of the day and you feel the love of God. Nonetheless, you can feel God reaching out to you.

 

Asking him to work contrary to His nature is absurd. Saying, while in Northern Michigan in January, "Let me feel the hot Mojave sun and I will believe" does not work, God never said it would work. God draws near to us as we draw near to him. He lets his goodness and mercy bring us to the depths of humility to cause us to repent. "Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold, I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise. And the Lord doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls" (Alma 37:6-7).

 

When we seek our conversion by little things, the Lord helps us grow in grace and our conversion runs deep into the root of our souls. The Jews wanted signs, wonders, mysteries, and the Lord "granteth unto men according to their desires" and what happened? "Wherefore, because of their blindness, which blindness came by looking beyond the mark, they must needs fall; for God hath taken away his plainness from them, and delivered unto them many things which they cannot understand, because they desired it. And because they desired it God hath done it, that they may stumble" (Jacob 4:14). Not to mention they did forget the miracles, as did many people in the time of the Savior. Those who were not fit for the kingdome of God because they put their hand to the plough and looked back (Luke 9:52).

 

Don't look beyond the mark. Don't seek great miracles or instantaneous conversion. God gives men line up line; so start at the bottom. Bridge the gaps in your testimony with faith and lean on the Lord. Be a fool. "Let no man deceieve himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness. And again the Lord knoweth the thoughts of the wise, that they are vain" (1 Cor. 3:18-20). What a concept. Our uninspired, feeble attempts to figure out God's wonders are in vain. But, when we search the revealed word and do not lean on our own understanding, we see the bigger picture. "But to be learned is good if they hearken unto the counsels of God" (2 Nephi 9:29).

 

I hope that man finds his way and we all do too. Those are my probably obvious thoughts on the matter. Same concept as Holland's latest talk I suppse. 

Letter #39 - May 5, 2013

Date: May 6. 2013

Subject: Structural collapse, Cultural gaps, and simple conclusions

 

Good (insert time of day) everyone. Checking in from Ludington, Michigan. I have been in my new area for a grand total of 13 days. Things are going fairly well and I'm having a good time. Some things have been happening which have been interesting.

 

First off, I got to Ludington and after my first Sunday, we found out there was some structural damage to the church. It appears to be leaning to the west. I think it just wants to go for a swim in Lake Michigan. The church building here is over 100 years old and it's an old baptist church that was renovated and made to look sort of LDS. It's a nice building I suppose. BUT, we are no longer allowed to use it for the next few months so we will be making a trip down to Hart, a city just south of here about 20 minutes.

 

I think there is the potential of some sort of gospel parable blossoming out of this building fiasco. I will endeavor to develop one.

 

Second, my companion keeps teaching me about mexican culture. It's pretty fun. We get along really well and have a lot of fun together. He constantly quotes Nacho Libre, which is funny. Not because I think the movie is funny, just because he loves it and it's sort of stereotypical. Oh, and I fell asleep to him singing "I'm Proud to Be an American" which I thought was ironic.

 

Third, I personally have been running into a lot of my own questions about things. But, I realized something about simplicity in the last two weeks. About 95% of the things we do are extremely simple. We do simple things. We just overcomplicate things. At the heart of every question, at the heart of every sin, at the heart of every single problem, or anything that we do, there is a purpose or a "why" as to why we do them. There is a base problem to each small issue and they all stem to something related to the gospel.

 

So my challenge is that we don't complicate things. I'm just out here trying to teach people the gospel of faith and repentance, but I get wrapped up in the small things: the planning sessions, companion exchanges, paperwork, commitments, etc. when in reality all of those things are just means to certain ends. 

 

To quote the great band Fireworks: "I stopped searching for the answers, I learned my lesson: life is just rhetorical question."  

 

I have about 3.5 months of my life to go. Then, I have to start real life or something. To those scragglers who have yet to develop a need to write me and desire to do so...

 

Elder Damon Chlarson

1400 Abbot Road Ste. 310

East Lansing, MI 48823

Letter #38 - April 22, 2013

Well, the time has come and passed, it's been about four months in Alpena and I'm taking off. I'm heading to Ludington, which is on the opposite coastline. It's on Lake Michigan and is a vacation town, so we'll see how that goes. I'm not sure if anybody knows about my love affair with lakes, oceans, rivers, boats, and anything having to do with water, but this last summer will be torture!

Yesterday was my last Sunday in Alpena. It was actually fairly sad. I have really had an interesting time in Alpena. It has been winter pretty much my entire time here. We've had a few spring-type days. It's been nuts! I'm excited for spring on Lake Michigan. Obviously it's going to be work and little-to-not play, but that's all good.

I have three transfer cycles left, 18 weeks, and/or about 4 months. I guess I'll just say what I have learned, because there isn't really too much that is new in my life.I have learned three MAJOR lessons over the last four months.

1) Take life one day at a time. When you take life one day at a time, you can accomplish tasks while not being overwhelmed. I'm not sure how many people are acquainted with my fun-loving temperament. BUT, that always came first in my life. I had a very "Why do today what I can do tomorrow?" mindset. That has been completely reversed. Don't get me wrong, I will probably always be a large 12 year old. I also learned that if you break up your tasks to daily lists, it's easy. No matter what happened that day, I knew I would be back in my bed with my mario bedsheets, dreaming of a warmer time.

2) The plan of our lives often, if not always, runs contrary to divine will. I wanted to spend my last 8 months in Lansing, or Kalamazoo, in a city or something. Life would be great. Lots of members, lots of people to teach, life would be so easy! But, that's not what was in the cards. I had four months of work. Menial, repetitive, and often unacknowledged work. I thank God that it was so.

3) With increased vision comes increased motivation. Elder Tad R. Callister said that in his talk in the priesthood session of conference and I realized that's what this whole time has been. When I look at the big picture of my life, my time here is vital. If I can handle winter in a quiet, content town, out in the cold knocking on doors, I can handle dang near anything.

I saw a bumper sticker that said, "Keep calm, you're in Northern Michigan!" So true.

I'm doing great. I hope people are making wise choices back home!

- Damon

Letter #37 - March 11, 2013

 

Well, another transfer in Michigan has come and passed. I'm over 18 months now, and I have four transfers left. It's crazy how quick, but slow it goes. The weather is nice, up to high 30's. Yes, that's nice weather. I will never complain about an Ephrata winter ever again.

 

Anyways, I've been pondering a lot of things. This week was very hard, so we are back to going out door knocking primarily. We lost most of the people we were working with, which happens at times. I guess Elder Holland was right when he said, "Why would it be easy for us when it was never, ever easy for Him?" So, it's all good. The mission tests you in every possible way, but it's all good.

 

I have a story to relate. After a really hard day on Friday, I was just sort of wondering how it got to this point. I went door knocking on Aqua View Circle in Alpena (A street which is condemned), and I think I met some of the rudest people in the world. It was crazy. They were fairly well off, nice cars and houses and such, but I was just appalled they would treat another human being like that. I was surprised that these people claimed to have a religious affiiliation. I was pretty sorry.

 

After knocking that street, I was livid. I was just about ready to blow a gasket. When that happens, you can be certain that it was influenced by a poor source. But, then Elder Walker, my companion (a greenie) said something that not only humbled me, but helped me stay at least somewhat positive. He said, "Even though everything just went terrible and those people were extremely, I got the most comforting feeling that we were doing exactly what we were supposed to and the Spirit was so strong." I guess I need to change my perspective.

 

Nonetheless, I will continue to work hard these last 5.5 months. I definitely miss my family and friends, and I'm so grateful for all the support. It's sort of weird, I remember I got a certain companion and he had four transfers left and I thought, "Oh man, he's done. He might as well pack up." That was partly because I was at 3 months, but now I feel like I've got all the time in the world. But, in the words of the great punk rock band, Fireworks "Out of 50 states, I only feel right in one." As much as I've come to love a lot of people here, I can't say I won't be excited to head back to Washington. If anybody wants to talk to me:

 

Elder Damon Chlarson

1400 Abbot Road Suite 310

East Lansing, MI 48823

 

I dedicate this to the wise. "Not many of the great and mighty, those who form and control the thoughts of the people today, are going to find salvation in the kingdom of God. Why? Because they have not found the way; they are not walking in the light of truth. They may have knowledge, but they lack intelligence." - Joseph Fielding Smith. 2 Nephi 9:30, and 2 Tim. 3:7.

 

Out,

 

Damon Chlarson

Letter #36 - February 4, 2013

Well, Damon Chlarson here. Still alive, still breathing, and still holding on. I survived my first transfer in Alpena. Now, I'm going to summarize a few things.

To be 100% completely honest, I probably couldn't have drug my feet anymore than when I got transferred here. I wasn't happy one bit. There was one glimmer of hope: it was temporary. I was in Grand Rapids, around great people whom I loved, and I loved the city and most importantly the ward. Then, I got the call. Alpena with a companion I wasn't too particularly excited for, to state it nicely. I was feeling a bit slighted. But, then I had a thought pop in my head, obviously of divine origins that spoke to me, "Seriously Damon, I have hooked you up with so much your entire life. I gave you six months in Grand Rapids with amazing people and amazing times. When you get home you will be blessed. So can you not help me for a few months in Alpena?" Point taken.

There's a talk by Elder D. Todd Christofferson called "As Many as I Love, I Chasten and Rebuke." He tells a story of Hugh B. Brown purchasing an old farm in Canada. There was a currant bush that wasn't growing quite right. In order to make it be a proper currant bush, he cut it back to let it try again. He said it was as though the bush was saying (I'm paraphrasing) "How could you do this to me? After I was doing so good and was moving forward, how could you cut me down?" Then he said, "Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here and I know what I want you to be. I didn't intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree, I want you to be a currant bush, and someday, litle currant bush, when you arel aden with fruit, you are going to say 'Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enuogh to cut me down.'" Years later, Hugh B. Brown almost had a promotion in the military he had worked so hard for and he was denied it because he was Mormon. He went home and threw his hat on his cot and was so angry. "How could you do this to me?" and suddenly he heard "Look, I am the gardener here..." and he immediately prayed for forgiveness. He was the currant bush.

Now I am the currant bush. The deck was slightly stacked against me, and the hand I was deal was one I wasn't too fond of, but I was blessed. This has been probably the best situation for me. It has forced me to change some things about myself I was holding on to, that needed to go. The progression has only started. The next 12 weeks will be amazing, I'm so excited for what's in store.

Anyway, transfers are this week. I'm getting a new comp. I don't know his name yet, I'll meet him on Thursday. I get to spend two days on campus at Michigan State University down in Lansing. I get to see civilization! Also, there's one of the only two Panda Express's there. I'm so extremely glad for that most of all! I haven't had it since the night before my mission.

I'm not really sure how I got here. I was reading the scriptures on Saturday night at around 1 am because I couldn't sleep, and I thought to myself, "What has happened to me?" I was so excited. I was reading 2 Nephi 9 and just thinking about how great it all is. I mean, that's a really good chapter and all, but I was overly excited to be studying. I really don't understand how this change happened. I mean, three years or so ago, I wouldn't even be considering sleep at 1 on a Saturday night, let alone reading the scriptures.

I mean granted, I am on a mission and that's sort of expected. Then I thought about things and how I used to be. I'm not sure if anyone is at all acquainted with my temperament and my disposition, but cynicism and sarcasm were probably two of my top attributes. I was a pretty negative kid. But, now I'm happy. I can't really explain details, but I can say that it truly is the Gospel. Why in the world would anyone not want to follow it? I was quite scared to leave my family, my friends, and my comfortable life. In the words of the Swellers, "It's not the friends you thought you had, or your location on a map. It's what you feel in here." The gospel improves what's in your heart. I'm done preaching.

Well, 17 months, 15 pounds, a few shades of white, and a couple more centimeters of a receding hairline later, I am doing great. "The road ahead brings a worn smile when I look back at the last mile. Break my bones, cut my feet, shake the ground 'til I quease. Bring on blisters, bugs, disease, there will be no more wasting time for me." (I still remember song lyrics)

Now, I'll go back and lace up my gloves for another 12 weeks in Alpena.

-Damon

Letter #35 - December 26th, 2012

Alright, well another week ish has gone by and I'm writing another blog.

I'm getting transferred to Alpena, MI. It's right on Lake Huron and way up northeast in MI. It will be mighty, mighty cold. I'm pretty nervous, to be honest. But, it will be, I think, the biggest opportunity for growth for me now as I ascend northward.

I've had so much fun in Grand Valley and this area. I have so little to complain about, truly. Life has been great here. I have had good companions, a great ward, and pretty sweet people to be around all together. I just think about my time here and I can't help but smile, so I'm very much grateful for the opportunity.

Anyway, I have been asking myself recently what my best moments of 2012 have been; what moments have just been so great. To be honest, I couldn't think of anything in particular. I sat there and thought about the spectacular things, baptisms, cool teaching visits, funny moments with companions, arguments with people, and being yelled at. Nothing was really popping out to me.

The only thing that stuck out to me were the people I have met. Maybe I should have figured that out like... 20 years back, but I didn't. All I could think about were the great times with people and all the things that have happened. I just realized the only thing that matters are the people you meet, help, and have the chance to love. I thought about my multiple companions of 2012, and I just sort of smiled. I have had some characters! In a good way. I've met a couple of my best friends as companions. I have been in some really great experiences with them, and some really bad ones too. I think about the fantastic people in Michigan I have met. Some people I have met have become so close I consider them family. It kills to be separated from them. (Being a missionary is this CRAZY paradox where you have to be so close to people spiritually, yet separate yourself emotionally and not become attached. It's very difficult)

So, as I begin to think of 2013, I am trying to figure out what I want my New Year's resolution to be. I make a new resolution weekly usually, but maybe I need to make a bigger one for the whole year of 2013. I think I just need to enjoy the people more. So, that's my goal I guess, to enjoy people? Is that necessary goal? I mean, it's not one that can be quantified by any means, but I guess I'll just be able to "know", I guess. I'm only going to be spending about 8 months of 2013 as a missionary. Then all the distractions are goingo re-enter my life. It's been an amazing 16 months. I guess I'm living a pretty good life.

I'm not really a huge fan of the cold, and the snow is cool before Christmas, and I have both waiting for me up there in Alpena. But, I'm going to make a good time with it. I have a lot of things to be worried about, but much like Heber C. Kimball, "Once I knew the mind and will of my Heavenly Father, all of these reasons didn't matter." (Somewhat paraphrasing)

Here goes nothing...

Letter #34 - December 17, 2012

So, this week will be a pretty good week. The snow is supposed to be falling. The grace of God has given me a pretty easy winter thus far. I'm not complaining.

 

I get to go on trade-offs with former-companion. I'm really excited. It'll be our last sleepover until we're roomies back at college. Should be a pretty fun time, as it always is. Are we the only ones that call exchanges sleepovers? Only this time, I don't have to ask my Mom if I can or not.

 

I'm finished with a project I've been working on. I've been summarizing every chapter of the New Testament (using "Jesus the Christ" and a couple other study sources) and I am basically done. I have to finish up a couple things on the Book of Revelation (I understand about 5% of that book) and then I'll be done. It's taken me over three months and about 100 pages of notebook paper. Now that I've picked it apart, I can just get back to reading it and taking a few notes here and there. This is what I did to the Book of Mormon the first time. I have to do it to the Doctrine and Covenants here pretty quickly.

 

Yesterday during church, I was thinking about why missions are so great. I was thinking about how mine has affected me and the decisions I will be making in the near future and the far future. I realized something... This is probably the only time in my life I'll be able to relate to Peter or Paul. This is the only time I can empathize with Alma the Younger when he wishes he were a better missionary, which he records in Alma 29. After this, I will be an average guy, sharing the gospel as I can, but I won't be "suiting up" on a daily basis. Instead, of "pressing forward with a perfect  brightness of hope" in terms of the people I teach, I'll be pushing on in school.

 

Anybody who's on the fence about going and may read this. You should go. Simple as that. There will be a lot of reasons not to go, but there will be a few VERY important reasons to go.

 

That's my wisdom.

 

Damon Chlarson

Letter #33 - December 10th, 2012

The Rapid Wreck, rebuttal to Anti-Literature, and Christmas

Well this week was a fairly exciting week. We had a Christmas party for the mission, and trade-offs with my boy Elder Masters. We stayed up till 3 and woke up at 6. It murdered me. But, after years of hanging out at Steven Devine's house till the wee hours of the morning, I'm pretty much used to zero sleep.

Anyways, on Friday the bus we were on got in a wreck... Here goes the story and dream, of a lifetime.

So, it all started about Friday, December 7, 2012 at roughly 2:40 pm. We were running late to an appointment, like we always do because I'm a terrible planner. So the bus system in Grand Rapids is called "the Rapid" which is ironic because it's anything but, but it's always a good time. Bus stories are always crazy, but this one trumps all.

The bus was packed, except for a few open seats but I didn't really want to share a seat with any of my potential seat companions, so I stood up at the front and started zoning out, pondering out the front window. We live by Alpine Avenue, which is the craziest street in GR, because it's got 1000000 businesses and tons of traffic, it's 45 MPH and people just don't care.

So, we're speeding along and this little Honda Civic just cuts over in front of us (the driver on her cell phone) and slams on the breaks, trying to turn into a Jiffy Lube type place (ironically located right next to "Alpine Collision Care"). Our bus driver slams on it to avoid demolishing this little car, but hits her back bumper. The first row of seats faces forward without anything in front of them, and no seat belt. So, as she slams on it, something whispers in my ear telling me to get ready to catch something. I move into the aisle and stick my leg/arm out and as I do so, this big ol' guy just barrels through the air, being pulled forward due to the momentum, and as he hits me, I also get pulled forward. He hits his head pretty hard, but I held on to the bar and just fell off my feet slightly.

Nobody was hurt but everybody was riled up. I had a good time and vouched for the bus driver. The man who fell may have had a concussion but nobody listens to me... I would never take my medical advice from anyone on the Rapid. The guy was acting a little special, but I think he may have been so before the wreck.

ALSO

I have been informed by multiple sources that my previous blog post (posted with 100% pure intentions hoping to perhaps brighten somebody's day) was not completely well received and I apologize. It was not my intention to stir up any contention. One of my favorite Book of Mormon teachings is that contention is of the devil, and love is from Christ. So those who stir up evil, spread hate, or wish to demean others are well... just that. Remember the six things, yea seven that the Lord hates? (That's in Proverbs 6:16-19, a book which we apparently don't read...)

Continuing on, I must say that I serve in Grand Rapids, MI. Everybody hates us here, and I've received more hostility on the subject of the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith, the premortal existence, etc. than I ever thought possible. It almost reminds me of the way the Pharisees, afraid of the abandonment of their loyalties of the soon-to-be-fulfilled Law of Moses, rejected the new teachings of a better way.

I would love to discuss the knowledge I have received after two years devoted to study, teaching, and persecution in about eight months. I must assure all that I have read the Bible, I have read the Book of Mormon and the two are in harmony with one another. I must say I have had much of my faith strengthened in Christ, and in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, from the Bible. On a personal note, I must say John is my favorite, the light he sheds on the life of Christ is seemingly unparalleled than that found in the other gospels. I do however, wish I could read more of what Peter wrote, but thanks to Constantine (the man who defaced Christianity and basically decided what people were to believe) we lost the Gospel of Peter, the presiding member of the church after Christ ascended to our Father. Read the book "Constantine's Bible" if you desire to know more of the idea.

I also must say I've never seen anything in the Bible that says revelation has ceased, or that there is to be no additional scriptures (Please do not quote Revelation 22-18 out of context). Also, what about the time Jacob saw God and became known as Israel? That's in Genesis, or the first book of the well-renowned Bible, (which I must emphasize I have accusedly never read).

Anybody who is to say that we follow Joseph Smith, and that makes us a cult or that we minimize Christ, must also remember that their religion too, was based on the writings of another mortal man, not only Christ. I tell you that John Calvin shaped many of the protestant beliefs (the idea of predestined grace and hope alone in the shedding of blood, though we learn that "faith without works is dead, being alone" in the epistle of James 2:17), and the teachings of John Wesley have been manipulated (as he clearly states in a journal that the Holy Ghost appears to be off the earth on account of the spiritual gifts, or "signs of the believers" having disappeared, found in "the Great Apostasy" by James E. Talmage) and that Martin Luther never intended to have a religion based on him, and that he reviles infant baptism.

However, I must say I just want us all to get along. Arguing, debating, and pontificating has never brought any sort of spiritual benefit. Theologians decided to do that. (Reminds me of the 27th verse of the first chapter of Romans "Professing themselves to be wise, they become fools" or in 2 Timothy 3:7 those whom are" ever learning but never being able to come to the knowledge of the truth") Pray to find truth, guidance, consolation. Look to Christ for salvation. Practice what you preach, and believe in what you feel the Holy Ghost is saying.

In saying this, I must apologize for some of my own conduct in the past as I am not always the most Christlike person. I hope this ends any debates.

"I know the scriptures and I understand them."

Damon Chlarson

Letter #32 - December 3rd, 2012

Okay, here I am at 10:44 am in Grand Rapids, MI.

 

Things are going pretty good I must say. I've got a couple good stories and thoughts to share, so I'm writing this.

 

I'll start with my thoughts that are semi-serious:

 

I have been thinking a lot about righteousness, the will of God, the commandments, how to stay true to covenants, and how to strive forward on to eternal life: our entire purpose.  There are no grey areas when it comes to the commandments. I think when we speak about grey areas, we think about things that will not be asked to us in a temple recommend interview. I think we believe that we can somehow escape God's will by hiding behind the bare minimum. I must admit I have been terribly guilty of this throughout my life, and I still work on it daily. Is there really a grey area? When it comes down to it, would you do it if President Monson was in the room, let alone Christ?

 

Now, no one need suppose me guilty of modern-day Pharisaical customs and traditions, but I think there are decisions that must be made with a "what is going draw me nearer to the Savior?" sort of attitude. Also, no one needs to think I have found myself on the path to perfection further than I truly am. My flaws become ever more noticable as I read, ponder, and pray. As Joseph Smith said, "I have a subtle demon in me, and I can only curb him by being humble." I am a long way off of that.

 

Another thought is about Christmas. Have you ever noticed that you hear people often say "I love Christmas but the commercialism of it just tires me out"? People constantly complain about the commericalism year after year. Yet, we seem to support it. I guess that's the hypocrite in me as well, I think to myself "Man, what can I do to really make this Christmas about Christ and serving others?" Then later on, I find myself thinking "Man, I wish I could watch 'Elf' with my family and just sleep in." That thought (though not really wrong and I absolutely cannot wait until next Christmas when I can, in the words of the Killers, "Roll around like a kid in the snow...")needs to be replaced with thoughts of making others happy.

 

Last night at the Christmas devotional, I loved the words of all three members of the First Presidency. President Uchtdorf is always great and really reminds us that we must be happy, positive, joyful, and really live in the moment. He said, in a nutshell, "Experience Christmas as a child, full of wonder, excitement and joy, and love those around us." I love the idea of being child-like, not childish. Maybe it's because there really isn't anything more joyful than just playing. My idea of unwinding is playing with the little ones. I think about playing with my many nieces and nephews, and it makes me feel calm.

 

President Monson BLEW my mind when he spoke of the Christmas season and said (I'm paraphrasing), "Don't get so caught up in the pressure of the season that you lose the Spirit of the season." That hit me in the face and is super applicable to my mission at this time.

 

Anyways, I turned 15 months recently. Mid-August and I'll be back where I began, but not all at once. I'm running out of time it seems, and it goes way too fast, some days. In the words of the great punk band the Wonder Years, "I know I've got miles to go but, I'm putting my shoulder to the wheel."

 

So, on the bus this week (of course) I had a fella sit across from me (he was about 55-60, with his hair permed straight and he was acting hood, saying "ohhh we on the west side baby. We go hard out here") in the isle and yell to his friend, "Yo homie, I gotta spot fo' ya right hurr." The spot he was referring to was the empty one on my left. The man sat down. I was overwhelmed with the smell of marijauana and Jack Daniels. But they start chatting, and they get on the topic of a woman in they know is jail... He says, "Ahh man, I heard she cut somebody... I heard she was defending you. Didn't she hit somebody wit a brick?" I pulled the cord and got off the bus, because I was laughing too hard.

 

Then, we were on the bus and there was this mom who had a son that was being rowdy. She said, "Boy, you better shape up. You gon' make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here!" For those of you not familiar with the black culture, that's a referrence to a DMX song.

 

When the bus was stops, it sort of rocks almost, as it uses its hyrdaulics. This old dude goes, "Errybody on the bus gettin' tipsy!" Also, another reference to a rap song.

 

THEN, we were in the bathroom at central station downtown in Grand Rapids (brace yourself, this is about to get graphic), we saw a guy using the urinal and he just dropped his drawers. I couldn't hold it together and I left laughing hysterically.

 

Anyways, that's it, I think.

 

Things are good. Sorry this is long. Nobody is still reading, but I wanted to write something.

Be still.

Letter #31 - October 29, 2012

Well, it hasn't been too long but I'm trying to think of something cool that's happened. Well a couple things have happened that are slightly noteworthy, I guess. The Tigers got swept by the Giants, I'm pretty sure I heard the state cry. Other than that though... We had some interesting experiences door knocking this week. A brotha (note: "brotha" not "brother" even though his name would give that away) named Rodell Bell gave me something to talk about...

So we were knocking in a not-so-good part of town in downtown Grand Rapids. We walked up to the house and I heard some rustling around the side of the house so I just said, "Hey uhhh, we're missionaries and we would like to share a message about Jesus Christ" and I was cut off by Rodell and he said, "hey, ya'll got three dollas I can borrow to go buy some bologna?" And, I'm not one to turn down a man his bologna. So I said, "Uhhh sure..." And the other black dude, who was apparently doing some sort of caulking to the house, said, "ehh yo, these dudes come 'round talkin' bout Jesus and you gon' ask 'em fo cash?" And Rodell just FLIPPED and got so ticked because apparently he was getting "all up in his bidness" and taking stuff off his porch. Apparently he works for the landlord... I don't know. Eventually Rodell, in a moment of rage, yells out. "I ALREADY GOT THE BREAD AND THE CHEESE!" And I freaking lose it. I just start laughing so hard. Anyways, so I give him the money and we're in his house now. He invited us in and a lightbulb went off in my head, "This'll be fun!" So, right before we leave he says, "Okay, ya'll go tell ya pastor watch just happened... Talk about it. Because what just happened is gon' stick with ya'll... because what just happened... that was weird." I said, "Oh yes, it WAS weird..." He was fun. I miss him. I'm pretty sure Rodell is in. He's not exactly accountable if you get my drift...

Grand Rapids is still fun. I love the ward here, still some of my favorites whom I have met on my mission. So, I'm still enjoying all of this which is really fun. Things are starting to pick up in the area a little bit. I mean, we're not going to be baptizing the masses or anything. I'm no Alma, probably won't get 3,500 this year. But, maybe...

I'm super tired all the time. I just want to sleep. You know it's bad when at 6:30 am, you say to yourself, "Oh, only 16 more hours till I get to sleep." It's like when I was a new missionary and Monday would end and I'd say, "Ahhh, only 6 more days till p-day." The weeks go by so fast though now. I'm at 14 months now. Almost into single digit time left, which BLOWS my mind. Anyways, I hope things are good for everybody at home. I'm with a greenie so he gets more mail than me, so if anybody is ever bored... I need to put him in his place.

Elder Damon Chlarson

3165 Riverview Dr. Apt 1A

Grand Rapids, MI 49544

Nobody better stalk me. It's been a problem. Just kidding.

Really though...

P.S. Shout out to Jeremy Randall, my #1 boy.

Letter #30 - October 15, 2012

Well, it's been an interesting week. I'm pretty sure that the sister missionaries poisoned me. They made "taco salad" that included lettuce, chips, and cheese. I'm not really sure why, but there was no ground beef. Perhaps they decided that was too much effort. Yet, they decided to make chicken which is obviously much easier to thaw, prepare, and cook. (Sarcasm). Anyways, I wasn't too psyched on the way they prepared the chicken, but I ate it anyways...

About two hours later my body hated me. Shakes, coldness, sorrow, depression, laughing, it was weird. Just kidding. I just wanted to puke, my head wanted to explode, and my body wanted to be in a climate about 130 degrees as opposed to Michigan's 50 degree weather. Anyways, I had to stay in after trying to work,  and I threw up later.

My body hasn't recovered and every time I eat I get a stabbing pain in my belly. I've lost about ten pounds this week, so I'm back down to about 170 which is good news I guess. I even felt like I wanted to die after a small bowl of honey nut cheerios. Sad stuff.

We had a huge miracle happen this week: a Mormon.org media referral that actually worked out. She came to stake conference and also is reading so it's good news. We'll see what happens.

Stay classy,

Damon.

Letter #29 - October 1, 2021

Well, here we go...

Transfers happened. LUCKILY, I get to stay in the Grand Valley ward in Grand Rapids. I'm excited. My new companion is not in the mission yet. I'll meet him on Thursday. Elder Masters is going to be in the Grand Rapids ward, right across the road. I'm stoked! We're in the same district and we'll be on trade-offs. So we'll see. We're both getting new missionaries so they're in for a great time! I'm going to miss having Elder Masters are 24/7 though. I can't believe it's been almost three months. July 11-October4.

I'm very blessed to be staying in the Grand Valley area. It's been great. It feels like I've been here for like, three weeks or something. I can't believe it. Grand Rapids is probably the best place I've ever lived. There's just so much going on. (Anybody reading this should google "ArtPrize 2012") Coming to Grand Rapids all happened by chance but it was definitely inspired. It's crazy how life works, things just work. In the words of Motion City Soundtrack: "It's not a matter of time, it's just a matter of timing." So, I'll continue on. I turned 13 months yesterday. I can't believe how fast it's going.

So I'll for sure be in Grand Rapids for 12 more weeks, luckily. There's really nowhere else to go, even though I sort of miss Coldwater. But, I'l continue to enjoy it here. So, I'll be here until at least Christmas. Then, I'm at 16 months. It's just insane how fast it goes when you're working hard and enjoying yourself. Life really isn't all that serious, contrary to what they tell you in high school.

I also hear that a couple of bros from high school are getting married? I can't believe it's happening.

I'm thankful for all the support. Sorry my grammar and vocabulary are not up to par, but I'm getting rusty. I can barely read regular writings anymore, it has to be scriptural text. Also, I'm sorry I'm not funny anymore, maybe I'll get it back someday.

Damon.

Letter #28 - September 11, 2001

I don't have too much to say in this one but there was a couple events I wanted to document.

Yesterday we had a general authority come to the mission. His name is Elder Schwitzer of the seventy. He's pretty new. He was a great speaker. He mainly talked about repentance and how to help those we work with do so. It was good to know that true repentance is true conversion. They also talked about listening. I'm not a good listener. If you focus in on people when they talk, and listen to their needs, concerns, feelings, thoughts etc. you'll be able to help more and you'll develop a far better personal relationship with those around you.

Yesterday also, we were at a less-active lady's house. She's pretty old and she wants to come back to church but her family is very Catholic and is controlling. You know, basic Catholicism stuff from the dark ages (I went there). Then, her son in law came in, drunk as a skunk, and told us to "Beat it." That was funny because I hadn't heard anybody say that in a Bostonian accent, so it was cool. I felt like I was in a movie. He looked like the Situation from Jersey Shore. He had the tan lines, the greasy hair, and the tight shirt to match. Oh, and an old Lexus. Anyways, he started cussing me out about a modern day prophet and said that "Jesus is in your heart" which is true, but he's missing something. He also said that "Jesus is the man" which sort of made me man. You can say things like "Blake Griffin is the man" or "Snoop lion is the man" but when you talk about the Savior of mankind like that, it's just disrespectful.

Anyways, another average week in Grand Rapids. We had a car so we avoided the bus. So, I didn't get molested this week.

Tune in next week,

Damon.

Letter #27 - 1 Year

So, at approximately at 6:00 in the morning on Tuesday, August 30, 2011, I said goodbye to two best friends Connor Hanna and Steven Devine. I said good-bye and quoted "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" and I was off. I said bye to my mom and Big Al. After that, I walked onto a plane to Salt Lake City.

My mission started on August 31. I can't believe it's been a year. I've learned some stuff in a year. As I've been riding the bus, I write down in my little notebook the lessons I've learned. I've also set some new goals.... Here is my list of things that I've learned on my mission...

1. Loving somebody is a choice. You are put around people, companions, investigators, members that you just don't like. It's pretty easy to just say "I don't like that person, so I'm just going to ignore them." BUT when you spend ALL day EVERY day with a guy, you learn to get over it. So, if you want to love somebody and get along with them, you will. Love is a choice. But, them being a girl and attractive makes it easier right? (Not on the mission)

2. The scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon, are amazing. I was a definite slacker on the studying of my scriptures (like most missionaries) before my mission. I have since repented and I love them. One hour of study every day is not enough.

3. Obedience is happiness. Doing what God says, and the mission standards say makes you happy. That's just what happens.

4. Hard work is rewarding. Work brings happiness. I never ever ever thought I would EVER think that, but I do. So, that's what it is. I've gone through spells of slacking and working hard on my mission, when I work like a beast, life is awesome. Before the mission, I avoided work at all possible points.

5. Repentance is something to rejoice in, not dread. As a youth in the church, I was always bummed to hear about repentance. But, why not get good in God's eyes? The sin has been committed. We should dread sin, not repentance. COME ON! (Spoken like GOB from Arrested Development)

6. Attitude matters. All my life I have heard that the attitude determines your latitude (don't you dare quote Kanye here). I never bought it. BUT, attitude truly does make us happy or sad. Most happy people have average lives, but their attitudes are great. There is no such thing as a perfect situation. EVER. It could always be a little warmer or colder, the steak could always be a little more or less done. It's just never perfect, so it's good to accept it. I love attitude.

7. Agency is a gift and a curse. We've all got our agency. I hate it. Sometimes you just want to force people to do what you say. But, imagine how God feels. It's our biggest gift from God, the ability to do what we want. But, we often misuse it. I do. All the time. So, blessing and curse.

8. Party stores in Michigan are not the same as party stores in Washington. I thought a party store got you matching party hats, table clothes, napkins, etc. In Michigan, people go to party stores to get trashed. Alcohol...

9. I actually do have the ability it gain weight. I always thought I was always thin. But, I have been proved wrong. I blame Taco Bell and Elder Masters.

10. Communication is key in everything. If you're mad, communicate it with your offendor. If you're happy, tell somebody. Spread positivity, work out negativity. Eliminate it. I think that's a huge one.

That's all. Year two starts Saturday. I can't believe it's come to this... If you told me I'd be here a year ago, I'd probably believe you. Didn't see that coming huh?

Damon, out.