Letter #17 - March 26, 2012

This is going to be a little bit serious, a different tone, if you will. While thinking today, and emailing a friend that is extremely dear to me, I remembered many moments in my life. I reflected back to a song by the Killers called "All These Things That I've Done." Moral of the song, I've made a lot of mistakes, and I need some major help. The breakdown of the song says, "I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier." I relate to the Killers in many ways,. The lead singer, Brandon Flowers, is a member of the church that is active now, but wasn't exactly. I was spiritually inactive and really did resent the church, I have to admit it. It's sad to say I was half-hearted and took for granted the very thing and people who gave me life and made this all possible.



But, the difference is this: somehow, some way, I was able to overcome all of that. Then, I got to thinking, what would have happened if I hadn't have taken the route that I had taken? There's a Killers song called "Boots" that says, "I wasted my wishes on Saturday nights, oh what I would give for just one more." It reminds me of how I would go back and re-do it all. I would spend less time with girls, less time staying out late, and way more time at home with my family, way more time at church. I could have helped so many struggling youth, so many people who were in need of service, but I turned my back. Sadly, I can't deny the fact.



If I had taken that route, how would I be today? Would I be holier than thou? Maybe I wouldn't have been this way. In Alma 32 (the Book of Mormon for you non-believers), I was like them, compelled to be humbled. I couldn't sleep, eat, or even breathe normal. My heart rate was once 130 bpm, which is really not okay for a 19 year old that was in shape. But, luckily I was able to grasp onto the atonement of Jesus Christ.



Much like the band Fireworks, "I spend all my time, trying to find what I need, but I was biting the hand that fed me. It saw I was down but still looking up from the ditch, so it grew its nails out, it was just trying to scratch my itch." That is extreme truth. I was totally biting the hand that fed me. But, not anymore.



"So I stopped running, started walking instead. It was all in my head, nothing's against me. This war was more civil, I realized, I had to secede from both sides." (Fireworks, the song "Arrows"). That is Damon Chlarson in a nutshell. But, it's all done.



What's the point of this ramble of a blog post? I'm not entirely sure. I think it's just to say how thankful I am to be where I am today. Maybe I could've done this either way I could have taken. But, I didn't. For some reason, God let me take the long way, so I did. But, I'm happy now and completely full. My heart isn't black and cold, it just had a little bit of frost bite (bad metaphor). I thank my parents and my family for never giving up on me. I thank my awesome friends who helped me out a ton. "At least now I know that what I have was built by the people I love, you wished you loved anything the way I love my friends, now we're moving glaciers, I hope this never ends." (Fireworks, "the Wild Bunch")



As far as my mission goes, the more I go through this and personally progress, the more I revert back to being a little kid. So, I'm less afraid of what's to come. But, I won't be somebody I don't like. "I stopped searching for answers, I learned my lesson that life is just a rhetorical question." I still remember lyrics like a champ. Seven months out. Almost 1/3 completed. Crazy stuff.



Damon, out.

Letter #16 - March 19, 2012

Well, I'm out of Coldwater. It's been a while since I've updated or anything. I'll try to see what I can say that's ambiguous enough to protect those that I may be friends with, but obvious enough that people can understand. I left Coldwater. I miss a lot of people. I don't miss some things about it at the same time.



I'm in Jonesville and it's so much fun. We actually live in a town called Hillsdale which is right next to it. But, I love it nonetheless. IIt's been going pretty good. My new companion is pretty cool. It's been a party pretty much the whole time that I've been here. We've been having tons of fun. We're doing good work too, so that's most important I suppose.



The weather is good. I got my first taste of humidity, of which, I'm not a fan. Is that proper English? I don't know, I'm losing it. I'm out of practice. Plus, I'm used to a mac keyboard and they rock. I hate this PC business.



Anyways, I'm almost seven months old. I don' t know how hte last month has flown by so fast. But it has. It feels like I'm entering a time warp. I'll see you all soon enough.



-Damon